I should’ve texted her, but my body froze every time I thought about reaching for my phone. All I could think about was Grey violating my personal space. I couldn’t risk her finding new text messages, so I did nothing and now Cleo’s gone.
Every time I picked up my phone, I imagined Grey looking over my shoulder, reading my messages, using them against me. The fear paralysed me. And now it’s too late.
“How you holding up, mate?” Cheddar asks. The crew still have another night on board before they’re allowed to start their shore leave.
“Been better to be honest, Cheds.”
“Kit will make sure she gets off the ship okay.”
It’s a small comfort that one of my friends will at least make sure Cleo’s okay.
“You aren’t going to ghost her are you?”
My eyes snap up, and Cheddar levels me with a knowing stare. I hadn’t planned on ghosting Cleo, but that’s what’s happened, isn’t it? I got so caught up in feeling out of control, I retreated and left her out in the cold. Fuck.
“You could message. The training op is over, she’s probably off the ship by now, so there’s no more conflict of interest.”
“She might not want to hear from me,” I mumble.
“She does,” Kit says as she steps into the room. “I can say with all certainty Cleo wants you to contact her.”
“Is she okay?”
“Pissed off. I wouldn’t want to be her dad when she gets hold of him.”
My stomach sours. An hour or so has passed since I returned from a ten-minute meeting with Admiral Carter, where he, in no uncertain terms, told me I was to leave his daughter alone. I got read the riot act about how unprofessional I was and how I’d let my crew and the Royal Navy down with my conduct. Then he proceeded to tell meCleo wouldn’t want to take our “tryst” beyond today. He was very clear he knew his daughter well enough to know she would never date a sailor seriously and I should forget about her.
The entire ordeal was a fucking gut punch.
“He’s not my biggest fan.” I chuckle humourlessly. “I’m guessing he’ll make sure Cleo never wants to talk to me again.”
“Bloody hell, River, it’s not the eighteen hundreds. Plus, do you really think anyone could make Cleo Carter do something she didn’t want to? She’s as stubborn as a fucking donkey,” Cheddar declares rather forcefully.
“Cheddar’s right, Riv. And I’m the one who was sent, by Cleo, with a message.”
I sit to attention. “She gave you a message?”
Kit rolls her eyes. “Yeah. She said she’s not giving up on you.”
“That’s kind of romantic.” Cheddar sighs.
“Oi oi,” Boot calls. She’s carrying a bag of washing, which I presume she’s just picked up from the laundry. “What’s the skinny? Cleo get off alright?”
The room grows quiet, and I find myself looking at the floor rather than at my friends.
The soft thud of Boot’s washing hitting her bed makes me look over. Boot stands with her legs at shoulder width apart and her arms crossed at her chest. The stance enhances all her muscles, which are impressive. The workouts are really paying off.
“You know I’m not one to get overly involved in this kind of shit…you know, the mushy stuff.”
We all chuckle because it’s true.
“But I feel I need to weigh in here before you do something stupid, Romeo.”
“Hey,” I protest, but it falls on deaf ears.
“Nah, you need to hear it. Right now you’re letting your head rule your heart, and I get why. But Grey and Benson will get what’s coming to them regardless of you being with Cleo. The only people you hurt by sacking her off are you and her. Forget about the job. Forget about orders and protocols. You deserve a life outside of the Navy if that’s what you want.”
“Boot is right,” Kit says, sitting next to me. “I wouldn’t have agreed with her a few weeks ago, but I’ve witnessed what that woman has done to you.”