“Of course.”
“What’s all this,” dad asks, pointing to the scattered paper in front of the captain.
“This is a problem, sir. I will need to sit with you later today and discuss the contents of the file.”
“Is it the article?” he asks.
“No, but Cleo is the author behind the findings. If you’ll excuse me.”
The captain gives me a nod and salutes my dad before leaving. He sits in her vacant chair and looks at me expectantly. When I don’t offer him what he wants, he smacks his hand on the table.
“What the hell were you thinking, Cleo?”
“Care to elaborate?”
“You know very well what I’m talking about. You slept with a crew member.”
“I did, and I know we broke the rules, but I am a civilian and it was consensual. That’s all there is to it. Able Rate Dawson has been disciplined, so as far as I’m concerned the issue is dealt with.”
“You are my daughter,” he begins.
“I am an adult woman who has autonomy over her life and body. I don’t now, or ever, need your permission. If you want to talk about inappropriate behaviour maybe we should circle back to the meeting you just had with River.”
His cheeks grow red. “I have every right—”
“You are the Admiral of the Fleet. Tell me, when was the last time you dealt with such a minor infraction personally? Are you constantly called to have chats with sailors who misbehave? No, I didn’t think so. You made this into something personal. What the hell did you say to her?”
“That is between me and Able Rate Dawson,” he grinds out.
“I swear to God, Dad, if you’ve done anything to mess this up for me, I will never forgive you. River wasn’t just a warm body. She’s important to me and we were building something.”
“Cleo.”
I slice my hand in the air. “No, I don’t want to hear it. I suggest you catch up to the captain, Dad, because you have a much bigger problem than me sleeping with River.”
“What did you write, Cleo?”
“The truth. Don’t worry, I won’t sully the reputation of your true love, Dad. The article I was assigned to write is finished and will do exactly what you planned. I’m sureyou’ll have a whole host of youngsters lining up to join the Navy once it’s published. The report I wrote for Captain Morley highlights the bigotry and discrimination that is running wild on board the Queen Elizabeth unchecked. You might want to clean that up before my article is released. I can only imagine the shitstorm you’ll receive from the public if what I found leaks to the press. And no, that wasn’t a threat, just an observation, because the truth always comes out.”
“What? Cleo, what are you talking about?”
“Captain Morley will fill you in. Now, as far as I’m concerned my job here is done, so I’m going home. Do not put me in this position again, Dad. If you manipulate your power to get me to do what you want ever again, we’re through.”
“Cleo,” he says, and for the first time since he stepped in, he’s looking at me like my dad instead of the admiral.
For a moment, I want to soften. I want to let him in, to let him help, to go back to being his little girl who needs his protection.
But I can’t. Because his protection comes with strings. His help comes with expectations. His love comes with conditions.
And River deserves better than that. I deserve better than that.
“No, Dad. Enough. I need some space after all this shit. Please respect that.”
33
River
I’ve never felt sodisconnected from my life as I do now, sitting alone in the bunk room. I’m kicking myself for not finding Cleo before she left. The past few days have been miserable.
