“Tell me the truth!”
Belis looked down. Her finger pressed against a scratch, causing blood to pool around her nail. I grabbed her hand and pulled it away, smearing her blood on my own hands.
“Tell me!” I said, still holding her hand.
“The spell I was doing, I learned it from a druid, like I told you.” Belis hesitated. “But it wasn’t a healing spell. It was a spell of sacrifice. It takes life from one source and gives it to another. I saw them kill a goat once to try and make the crops grow. I remembered the words. I heard the chief of the Trinovantes had three slaves killed to save his own life. I thought it would work for me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You truly don’t know?” She gave a short laugh. “I thought you had figured it out. Humans really all look the same to you, don’t they.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Belis dropped my hand and lifted up her tunic. The skin of her stomach was pale and freckled, but a jagged scar sliced across her abdomen. It had almost healed to a fine silvery line.
“Cati wasn’t the one who was injured in the battle. I was. She and my mother carried me to the clearing. My mother took poison.”
At first I didn’t understand the implication of what she had said, but then it struck me like a blow from an axe.
“You – you used her life force to heal yourself? You weren’t trying to heal her, you were trying to kill her!”
I tried to keep my voice steady, but it wavered. I was surprised by how shocked I was at her confession. I had seen horrifying things in my thousands of years of life, acts of violence betweenlovers, parents, siblings. I had thought there was no horror left to shake me, but all those nameless, numberless bodies had been nothing to me and this was Belis, who had become a comrade to me.
She hung her head, the words spilling out now as if she had broken some internal dam. “I didn’t mean to kill her. At first I was trying to pull from the trees, from the life around us, but it wasn’t enough. The spell was already in progress and I was so desperate to live. I tried to pull at my mother. She had already taken the poison by then. I thought she wouldn’t care either way, but Cati was right beside me. Once I’d realised that I had grabbed onto her instead. I thought to just take a little of her life. Just a little. But then I couldn’t stop.”
“Couldn’t?” I said softly. “Don’t lie to me, Belis.”
“I…” she gasped. “Itwasa mistake at first but then I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to die. Oh, gods, Mallt! I wanted to live so much, more than I loved Cati, more than I wanted to make my mother proud, more than anything else. I clung to life like a rat. I didn’t know that it would kill Cati, but I don’t know that it would have made a difference. I was too far gone to care.”
I sat down beside her again, looking out at the sea.
“I thought a chance at life was worth any price. Now I have nothing but shame and regret.” Belis turned to me, grabbing at my hands. I tried to wriggle free but she was stronger. I stared at her face, struck by the pain in her expression.
“I’m tortured by my sister’s face. I see her everywhere, her hair in the burnished leaves of the autumn trees, her eyes in the mossy stones, her laughter in the bubbling streams. I was her other half and I betrayed her. I was supposed to be the oak that sheltered her, but I let my fear choke me and now I am hollow. I cannot go on without Cati. I will journey to Annwn and offer my own soul for hers and then go gladly into death. Only then can I find peace.”
She glanced over at me. “And that doesn’t even cover what I’ve done to you.”
“Destroyed an immortal goddess and risked all the lost souls on this island?” I said coldly. “Yes. That’s quite the weight tocarry. I need to think this through, Belis. I’m not sure I can take you to Annwn any more. I was helping you because I thought it was a mistake, that it was more my fault than yours.”
“Please. I know I don’t deserve your help. But Cati does, she’s never hurt anyone, never betrayed anyone. I swore to her before I left that I would bring her back. I swore I would spend my entire life, give every drop of blood, every breath in my body, to protect her. If you won’t take me with you, I won’t force it. You can take the boat. But I’ll get there myself, I’ll swim, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Her cheeks were slick with tears but she seemed surer of herself now. I wished I could have been as confident in her words but there was the taste of her falsehood in my mouth now and I could not spit it out. I was truly, deeply shocked.
“Let me think, Belis. I can’t decide right now.”
She let go of me and sat back, returning her gaze to the waves crashing on the beach. Then she froze.
I followed her gaze to the other side of the beach, where the cliff path wound down from the hillside. A Roman patrol, at least a dozen legionaries, was storming down the trail. Their plate armour glinted in the weak sunlight.
“Gods save us,” swore Belis, her hand dropping to the knife in her belt. She looked around wildly before lunging up the beach to where we had left the horses.
“No, Belis, wait!” I leapt after her. “There’s no time, we’ll never make it.”
She stopped, measuring the distance back into the village with her eyes, then cursed again and nodded.
“The boat?” Her voice wavered.
“It’s the only way.” I grabbed our packs and took off back down the beach to where we had left the boat. Behind us the Romans were yelling. I sneaked a look over my shoulder. They were on the sand now, running steadily towards us. I could see their unsheathed swords, then there was a hissing sound and a javelin thudded into the wet sand not five yards to our left.
