“Now I realize I can’t—don’t want—to marry a woman for my own gain.”
Torin’s brows furrowed. “But you’re needing the money, aren’t you now?”
Kiernan halted his tearing but didn’t respond.
“A couple fellows were talking yesterday,” Torin continued. “They said you might not be able to pay workers next week.”
“I’ll pay.” Kiernan’s tone and expression turned hard. “I’ll make sure everyone gets what they deserve.”
Behind his spectacles, Torin’s eyes remained troubled.
Alannah felt that trouble settle in her stomach. Clearly, Torin was concluding the same as her—Kiernan was having financial struggles with his brickyard, and he’d hoped to use his dowry to ease the strain.
He was within every right as a wealthy gentleman to require a dowry that could benefit him. And if he needed it for his brickyard, then all the more reason to marry a wealthy woman who could help him.
Even if he was ripping up his list and claiming it no longer mattered, the dowry was important. She wouldn’t stand in the way of that, regardless of how much he might try to persuade her.
Her attention shifted to Bellamy where he was leaning against the beam. Maybe he’d changed his mind about the match. Why else would he give her Kiernan’s list? He could have thrown it away. At the very least, he could have kept it private between him and Kiernan.
By showing it to her, he’d surely realized she wouldn’t want to be with Kiernan, that if she’d felt anything, she would do her best to squelch those feelings. “Do you have someone else for me, Bellamy? Tell me you have another man in mind.”
“No.” Kiernan thrust a halting hand out toward Bellamy. “Don’t say anything.”
Bellamy’s brows rose.
Alannah waved at Bellamy to speak. “Go on with you now. Tell me.”
Torin shook his head. “I want Alannah to marry Kiernan.”
She glared at him. “It’s not your choice.”
Torin frowned back. “Bellamy told me the man of his choice was waiting at the meeting place. There’s no one else but Kiernan.”
“It doesn’t matter. Bellamy needs to find me someone else.”
“We don’t have time to waste,” Torin insisted. “Not with the rumors.”
“I agree.” Kiernan leveled serious eyes upon Torin. “It’s because of me that Alannah’s reputation is sullied. Now I intend to do the right thing and marry her.”
“No.” The word slipped from Alannah almost harshly. “I won’t be marrying someone because he’s pitying me or feeling sorry for me.”
“It’s not pity—”
“And I won’t be marrying a man who’s wanting a different woman altogether than me.”
“I’ve realized I don’t want anyone but you.” Kiernan’s voice dropped and held an earnestness that tugged at her heart.
She wanted to stop her protest and let him convince her. It would be easy to do so. But she’d only come to regret giving in, and someday so would Kiernan. “No, ’tis clear I’ll never be living up to what you want in a wife.”
“I don’t want those things anymore.” He ripped the list again, this time ferociously and into tiny pieces. “I’ll show you what I think of my list.” He stalked out from underneath the pavilion and over to the pond. As he reached the edge, he tossed the pieces into the water. Within seconds thesteady rain drenched them, taking them out of sight below the surface.
Kiernan turned and faced her, the rain still pelting him. “There. Gone.”
If only that were really true. “You might be able to make the paper go away. But I’ll know the list is still there inside you.” No matter how much he might care about her and be attracted to her, she would always feel inadequate.
Torin was studying Kiernan carefully. “The dowry is the main thing you want, isn’t it?”
“I want Alannah.” Kiernan’s voice held a note of stubbornness. “She’s more important than a dowry or anything else on the stupid list.”
