He opened it after my three frantic texts, took one look at me, and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
Standing there on the doorstep, facing a boy in his pajamas, I blurted out the most embarrassing statement of my life. “I don’t know how to kiss.”
“What?” Tyler’s eyes, formerly hazy with sleep, widened.
I was fairly certain kisses were supposed to be passionate. Robust. I’d spentso much timefantasizing about kissing, I expected I could whip up a fifteen-page essay on it. And, having read enough romance novels and talked to Olivia in great detail, one of my main tenets on kissing was that it would come naturally.
But it hadn’t.
Which meant—
Maybe—
I sucked at kissing.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before. Well, now I’ve kissed Isaac, but I don’t knowhow. What if I can’t do it? What if I’m bad at it?”
Something flitted across his face, and he gave me a close-lipped smile. “You can’t be bad at kissing.”
“I bet you can,” I said darkly. “You can be bad at anything if you set your mind to it.”
His mouth twitched, like he was reluctantly amused, despite also potentially being sleep deprived and having barely finished celebrating the birth of his savior/ye olde pagan tree ritual. Which reminded me. “Also,” I added. “Merry Christmas! How was your Christmas?”
“Fine, thanks for asking.”
“Great.” I paused the minimally acceptable length of time before continuing with my panic. “I’m freaking out over here.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Will I, though?” I asked. “I have no idea what I’m doing. People act like you’ll know what to do when you mash your mouth against someone else’s, but where do your nosesgo?”
“To be honest, I’ve never really thought about it.”
“I’mthinking about it, and I can’t figure it out. Do they kinda slide against each other? Are your noses basically kissing, too?I don’t like thinking about noses this much!”
“Don’t get offended,” Tyler said cautiously. “But I’m going to suggest you take a couple deep breaths.”
“I’m offended!” I yelled, then took a couple deep breaths. Right. Yes. I was essentially having a meltdown, which I preferred to do in private. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, holding at the top and the bottom of the breath, making myself take in the world around me. The rain from yesterday had stopped, though it’d melted most of the snow, and the sky was a pale blue, spotted with low clouds. The temperature felt almost warm in comparison with the weather earlier in the week, as though spring might rear its head during these last few days of the year.
“So,” Tyler said, apparently no longer deeming me a human teakettle at risk of blowing. “Why are you telling me this?”
He knew. Of course he knew. I lifted my chin, hot and embarrassed. “I need help.”
“Oh?” he drawled, refusing to fill in the blanks. “Help with what?”
I swallowed my embarrassment and my pride and mumbled down at my feet. “I need you to teach me how to kiss.”
“I’m sorry.” Tyler cupped a hand around his ear. “I couldn’t hear you. What did you say?”
I glared at him. “Will you teach me,” I gritted out, “how. To. Kiss.”
He let the moment stretch out, long and tight and taut.“Honestly, Shir,” he said, light as a feather, “if you wanted to hook up with me, you could just say so.”
“I don’t.” My hands curled into fists, tendrils of heat coiling inside me. “It’s an extension of flirting lessons.”
“You don’t needlessonson kissing. It’s natural.”
“How do you know? Babies can’t even talk at first because they need two years to understand language.”
