His nose scrunched up. “I hope they don’t plan to reuse the bag.”
“I’m sure they can wash it first.”
He laughed, and I felt a surge of satisfaction. I’d made him laugh. This was the first time I’d felt like we could actually have something, like it wasn’t all in my head, like maybe Isaac could like me. I decided to push my luck. “There’s blocking, too, you know.”
“Hmm?”
“You know. Follow the stage directions.”
“Right. You mean...” He flushed.
I nodded, heady with nerves. “I’m supposed to recline.” Feeling dangerously bold and terrified, I moved from Grandpa’s armchair to the couch, lying on my side, trying to look both casual and irresistible. “Then you come over to drink with me...” I pretended to offer a glass.
“She should have poisoned the wine.” Isaac stepped forward to take my insubstantial glass.
I smiled. “Good point. I guess you sit or something...”
He sat, almost cautiously, on the floor before me. He never took his eyes off mine.
“And then I—we’re supposed to be...”
Suddenly we were so close, I couldn’t breathe.
“Well!” I said brightly, bolting upright. “Then I kill you.”
He laughed.
“I guess we should go to bed?” I said, still so, so bright, far too bright for any mood lighting.
“Sure.”
We walked in silence upstairs, awkwardly close, me half a step in front of him, and the tension returned. We had been so close. We’d said such lines to each other—ridiculous ones, but seductive all the same. We’d held eye contact.
We reached my room. The hall was dark, mere bits of light sliding out from behind closed doors. I felt like throwing up. I wanted something to happen, or I wanted nothing to happen. I had told Tyler I didn’t recognize moments, but maybe I did, and I shut them down because they terrified me.
Maybe I should stop running from them.
“This was fun.” I forced myself to wait, despite wanting to melt into the floor. I lifted my head and met Isaac’s eyes.
“Yeah,” he said, and hesitated. “It was.”
There was a long, drawn-out silence, where neither of us moved, where I kept my face lifted to his, where it became harder and harder to breathe. Then his face tilted and came slightly forward, slowly, giving me time to back away, to rebuff the moment, to disappear.
But I didn’t.
And he kissed me.
He drew back. “Good night.”
“Good night,” I said automatically.
He walked away, turning the corner toward his room and disappearing. I stayed in the hall, fingers pressed to my lips.
And I thought,I have no idea how to kiss.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
In the morning I showed up, panicked, at Tyler’s door.
