“Yeah…he is,” he says, his shoulders raised a little in a defensive stance. “But I’m not sure you going in there is a good idea.” That’s when I notice the wall of glass behind him, which gives me a good look into the big open space full of desks. With all theemployees of Watson and Associates sitting in them, milling about, chatting with each other.
I see his point. I don’t feel like making a public display of this, yet again, in front of Ellis’s coworkers. And I’d rather not run into Daniel, either.
“Would you mind…” I start to ask.
Parker takes a good, hard look at me. “Are you about to rip his heart out? Again?”
“No. The opposite, I hope.”
Without taking his eyes off me, he picks up the phone. After a beat, he says, “Hey, can you come out and meet me in reception?” His expression stays neutral. “Okay, cool.” He hangs up. “He’ll be out shortly.”
The formal language almost makes me laugh but then it doesn’t, because I see Ellis get up from a desk. He looks like a mirage after a long summer spent in the desert. He’s in a plain white tee and beat-up jeans. A classic.
It’s been days since I’ve seen him at the park opening and I know at this very second that I no longer want to spend days not seeing him. That seeing him, being near him, is essential to my being. As he walks toward us, the surface of my skin starts to tingle. I get both lightheaded and more grounded.
The moment he notices me, he falters. We make eye contact and confusion washes over him. He takes me in, registering my bedraggled pajama-state. The confusion on his face grows as he gets closer, but there’s also concern there. He opens the door and is in the lobby now.
“Uh, you have a guest,” Parker says, his eyes whipping between us.
“I see that,” he says, his eyes on mine. “Cass, are you okay?”
ThatCassis electricity through my body. “I am. Now. Can we talk?” I glance behind him, and notice that a few of the coworkers are looking at us, having noticed that I’m out here.
“Maybe outside?” I say.
He nods, short and curt, and we make our way out, him close behind me. Even though we’re not touching, I feel him with every step.
We find a private spot tucked in an alley, and a warm breeze ruffles my hair as I take a breath.
“What’s going on?” Ellis asks when I stop. Then he takes another good look at me. “Why are you in pajamas?” He reaches out and touches a sleeve that has a line of soot on it. “Is thisash?”
His concern, despite everything we’ve been through, is a reminder of everything that made me fall for him.
“After the earthquake, our office caught on fire,” I say.
“What!”
“Everyone’s okay, but the second floor’s been damaged. It’s been…a long night. And morning.” I laugh weakly.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. He means it but he’s also confused. “Why…why are you here after all that?”
Emotion bubbles up inside my chest, making it tight. “I…I needed to see you. To tell you everything.”
Something shutters in his expression, and I need to make things right as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry. That’s the first, most important thing. I amsosorry. For putting you through this roller coaster of…me, I guess. And I really needed you to know, as soon as possible, that I broke up with Daniel.”
This lands less explosively than I wanted. His eyes flicker, and his body flinches, but that’s it. I go on. “Kissing you at the park opening wasn’t a mistake. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t regret kissing you, but I do regret hurting Daniel. And that moment with you that was so true and real turned into something sordid.”
His jaw clenches as he nods his head in jerky movements. I wish so much that I could undo all the hurt I’ve inflicted on him.
I pull something out of my pajama pocket. “You deserve an explanation. The real one, for why I turned away from you, why I denied the connection between us.” I hold it up and he steps in closer to look at it. When he registers what it says, his eyes fly up to mine, confused. “What is this?”
I hold up the scrap of paper with Daniel’s name stitched in it. “This piece of paper is ten years old. When I was thirty, my grandmother read my face and told me I would end up with someone named Daniel Nam.”
His eyes flash. “What?”
“This is our family secret. We don’t just read faces, we can see past lives. And in these past lives, we can find past loves.” I say these words slowly, knowing what they sound like. My body tenses, waiting for him to laugh hysterically before fleeing back into his office.
But this is Ellis. And Ellis has always taken me seriously.
