“Oh, Halmoni.” I get down on the floor and wrap my arms around her. “I met him. I flew to Michigan and met my dad.”
She pulls back in shock. “What?”
Before anyone can react, I say, “I had to talk to him myself. Confirm all of this. And you know what? After we talked…after he told me about how they met and what their relationship was like—none of what happened feels so dark and wrong anymore. Their love story not working out isn’t some cosmic tragedy. It was just…human.”
“But…” Halmoni trails off. “Heleftyou. He ruined your mother’s life.”
“I need you to let that go,” I say gently, remembering the way Matthew talked about my mother, the way he looked at me with a lifetime of regret. “Because it’s not true. Mom had a great life. It was way too short, but she had a wonderful family,” I say, looking at everyone. Halabuji is sitting down now, crying into his hands. Stu is holding tight to Sunny’s hand, and Emoni is smiling through tears. “She loved me so much and showed me every day. I was so lucky to have her for those eight years.” My voice chokes up, my chest hurts. “She never ever made me feel like Matthew leaving ruined her life. Mom was always honest with me about him. How he couldn’t handle the pressures of fatherhood because he was weak and young. Andshe let him go. She always made me feel like we were better off without him, because we had all of you. How your love meant more to me than having a father.”
Sunny and Emoni join us on the floor. And as we sit there in a pile of arms and grief and unburdened souls, I feel like myself again. Whatever crisis of faith I had, it’s being bolstered by something newer and stronger. As always, it’s my family.
49
“I broke up with Daniel.”
No one seems shocked. Emoni nods, solemn.
Stu pours fresh coffee for all of us as we sit around the table. Sunny squeezes his hand in silent thanks, and he drops a kiss on the top of her head. “How did he take it?” Sunny asks.
“Fine,” I say as Halabuji walks back into the room with a pale pink throw that he puts gently across Halmoni’s shoulders. “As well as someone could take that kind of news anyway.”
“But he’s your fated,” Halmoni says. “I saw it myself and…”
I give her a look. Wejusthad this conversation.
“He’s a gentleman,” she concedes. “A good person. He understands.”
“Yes, he’ll make a good partner for someone. Just not you,” says Halabuji as he takes Halmoni’s empty plate.
I watch how these men silently take care of the women in my life. And I think of Ellis. Ellis who blocks the sun from getting in my eyes. Who takes a shot for me when he knows I don’t want to drink it. Who is always watching, always taking care of me. Even when I’m not his.
What am I doing? My chair scrapes loudly against the tile as I get up. “I need to talk to Ellis.”
“Ellis-euh?” Halabuji exclaims. Everyone else looks extremely confused.
“Are you sure?” Halmoni asks, her voice betraying nothing.
I nod. “So sure.”
Sunny gets up and hugs me. “You got this. We love you.”
“I love you guys, too,” I say, choking up again. And out of habit, I look at Halmoni for reassurance. She nods, her eyes shining. That’s all I need.
In seconds I’m in my car. It’s not quite ten a.m. I’m afraid to go home first in case I lose my nerve—this rush of adrenaline. So I head east on Beverly and take it straight to Silver Lake, really wishing Ellis could be anywhere else.
When I park in front of Watson and Associates, I register what I look like. My pajamas—a white cotton two-piece—are dusted with a fine layer of soot. I flip down my visor. So is my face. I take out some Kleenex and do a cursory wipe but it’s kind of a lost cause.
Pride be damned. I get out and walk into the office. The front desk is manned by Parker, the guy who knew Ellis had been married before at the wedding dinner. He looks up at me with surprise. “Oh! Hey.” Then he looks me up and down. “Whoa. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” I say with a wave. “Is Ellis in yet?”
His forehead crinkles with confusion. “Ellis?”
“Yes, Ellis.”
“Not…Daniel?”
I close my eyes briefly. “Nope.”
