I force a ragged exhale, ensuring that my voice is dangerously calm. “Who is she?”
His face falls, like he was hoping I wouldn’t press for details. “Elise—”
“No, tell me. I want to know who she is. You owe me at least that much.”
He speaks to the ground. “Her name is Panra. She’s a girl from another tribe in Ghazni—a more prominent tribe, one that has feuded with my family’s for generations. Her father is its leader, and my baba made the arrangement with him a long time ago, when it became clear that his health was declining and his survival wasn’t guaranteed. It is a match that will benefit our people—that’s what my baba hopes. A bond that will forge peace between both tribes.”
Peace between tribes—that’s what I’m up against.
“God, Mati! This is why you’re so set on going back? This thedutyyou talk about? I mean, I get it: peace is a big deal. But do you know what’s an even bigger deal? The fact that you have afiancéwaiting for you in Afghanistan! You didn’t think, even once, that this was information I deserved to hear?”
“Yes.Yes!I thought about telling you a thousand times, but—”
“But what?” I’m yelling—I’m sure his parents can hear every syllable of my diatribe, just like I heard all of Hala’s, and I’m sure Bambi is stressed about my well-being. But in this moment, I couldn’t give a shit. “Youknew!” I cry, jabbing a finger in his stupefied face. “You knew if I found out that you werepromised to someone else, I’d back away. And, what? You didn’t want to say goodbye to your beach buddy? You didn’t want to lose your secret girlfriend?”
He whirls around and stalks to the corner of the cottage. He keeps his back to me and even though I want to strangle him, I also want to know what’s going on in his head. Because despite what I said all of five seconds ago, my feelings haven’t changed. Not enough. I am stupid—so, so stupid. I’ve fallen in love with a charming boy—a cunning, deceptive,unavailableboy.
Audrey’s voice runs circles in my head:A person who can’t be trusted.
The truth of it makes me ache.
He’s striding toward me again. He rounds his shoulders and gets right in my face, jaw working, eyes flashing. “I cannotbelieveyou would insinuate that my intentions are anything but honorable.”
“And I can’t believe I’ve spent my summer with a liar.”
“I have never lied to you. Not once.”
“Only because I didn’t think to ask if you wereengaged!”
I move to push past him, but he grabs my hand and spins me around. Even as I wrench out of his hold, he’s talking, explaining,pleading, “Please, Elise. I loveyou. No arbitrary promise will change that.”
I stare at him, rubbing away the prickles of recognition—the prickles ofwant—his touch left on my skin. “It’s hardly an arbitrary promise when you’re going home to her,” I say darkly. “Soon, it’ll be her hand you’re holding. Her lips you’re kissing. You’ll look into her eyes and spout beautiful, meaningless words. God, Mati! Are you going to write about her?”
His gaze narrows. “Don’t diminish what you and I have.”
“What you and Ihad. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
This time, my escape is quick.
He doesn’t follow.
I round the cottage to its front yard. Rasoul sits in his wicker chair. He’s bent over Bambi, petting her head with slow, methodical strokes as her gaze jumps around the yard. She’s panting like she hasn’t seen water in weeks. Hala stands on the porch, arms crossed, glaring as I march across the lawn. Just beneath her glare lies the suggestion of satisfaction.
There, I think, aiming a beam of loathing in her direction.I’m out of his life, like you wanted.
“Elise,” Rasoul says as I retrieve my dog’s leash. He gives his throat a rutty clear. “Please don’t go. This situation… It is not what you think.”
I snap Bambi’s leash to her collar, then stand to look him square in the face. “It’s exactly what I think, and for you to say differently is insulting.”
He cringes. “I mean no offense. Mati feels—”
“I don’t care about what Mati feels.” I realize suddenly, and with acute embarrassment, that I’m crying. I wipe savagely at my face as I bend to meet his gaze. “I appreciate your being hospitable. I appreciate your inviting me over and pretending like I matter. I hope you get better and have a chance to enjoy the peace Mati’s marriage will bring, but right now, there’s nothing you can say that will make this okay. I just—I want to go.”
He nods once, like he understands.
I’m certain he doesn’t.
I give Bambi’s leash a tug. She hops up and follows me over the path, through the gate, and down the sidewalk.
