Far, far away from Mati and the fairy tale he destroyed.
elise
I go to Audrey’s.
I knock on the door of her cottage, then wait, and wait, before banging on the wood all over again. Bambi turns circles beside me, whining nervously.
“It’s okay, girl,” I say, stooping to pet her. A tear rolls down my cheek, then free-falls, landing on her blond head. It’s quite possibly the most pathetic display I’ve ever exhibited—I’m crying with my dog over a boy.
I knew Mati would ruin me, but I never thought it’d be likethis.
The cottage’s door swings open. Audrey stands over me. “God, Elise, what happened?”
She appears blurry, watercolored. I shrug haplessly like,You were right.
And then she’s wrapping an arm around me, pulling me inside, guiding me to the sofa. She sits beside me, hugs me, smoothing her hand over my hair while I cry into the gauzy fabric of her blouse.
I have never loved her more.
After buckets of tears, I pull away. I feel terrible—hot and wrungout and vaguely nauseated. My throat is sore and my middle hurts, like I’ve been run over by a truck. Still, I tuck my hair behind my ears and smooth my shirt, feigning composure, pretending I didn’t just shatter on my sister-in-law’s sofa.
“Where’s Janie?” I ask.
Audrey gawks, like,You come here a sobbing mess, butJanie’swho you’re concerned with?
She recovers, arranging her features into an expression like tranquility. “Napping.”
“I’m sorry to show up like this.”
“I’m sorry you’re upset.” She folds her hands, studying me. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I sink back into the cushions, droopy, like a sail that’s lost its wind. I take a breath, but… I have no idea where to start. I don’t evenknowwhat happened. An hour ago, I loved Mati and he loved me. Despite our imminent end, being with him filled me to bursting.
Now, I’m just…empty.
“What you said, all of it… You were right,” I tell Audrey.
Her shoulders fall in a sigh. “The boy.”
“Mati.” Even now, I can’t accept her slighting him.
“I thought you weren’t seeing him anymore.”
I shrug weakly.
She grimaces. “What’d he do?”
“He lied. Everything… It was all a lie.”
I told you—now’s the perfect time for her say it, and she’d be right. But she doesn’t; she pats my hand and says, “Oh, Lissy, I’m sorry.”
I tell her everything. Our surreptitious visits, the attack he endured, Hala’s disapproval coupled with my mom’s, theI love you’s we traded, the way he made me feel whole and spirited and special. I tell her about Ghazni and the opposing tribes. The wordsfeuding, andduty, andpeacedrop from my mouth like stones. I tell her about Panra, the faceless girl who’s earned my envy, my fury, my hatred, just by existing. I tell her about the arrangement—theengagement.
“He says it doesn’t matter,” I add, monotone. I blow my nose again with one of the many tissues she’s supplied. “He says there are no feelings, that she’s just a girl.”
Aud arches an eyebrow. “Just a girl? Damn, Lissy. Whoever she is, I feel terrible for her.”
I narrow my eyes, tossing my wadded tissue on the coffee table, where it finds a place among its friends. “You should feel terrible forme. I’m the scorned mistress in this scenario.”
