I swallowed the anxiety currently growing inside me and eyed the crowd. Exits. One at each end of the hall. Left would be my best option. I wasn’t planning on running if shit hit the fan, but it helped. It always helped. I needed to see the way out, even if I didn’t take it.
“Dude, no fighting at school,” someone said.
“Thought we could bitch about it, and that’d be it,” Ty said. “But if you wanna make things physical”—he held out his arms—“then let’s fucking go.”
“Whoa, hey.” A blond head, the one I’d been secretly dreading getting involved, forced his way into the middle.
I pushed off the locker and narrowed my eyes with the change in the atmosphere. Avoiding this new drama took a back seat as the need to take action, to move, intensified.
Cal Winters.
God, I hated him. I might not’ve hated the football team with their bullshit, but IhatedCal. I hated how his presence alone forced me to do things I didn’t want to. As if he had more control of me than I did.
Since that night two years ago when I’d made the biggest miscalculation of a person’s character, I’d had no trouble shutting out the world. In fact, most often I had to force myself to get involved. I could be a teammate when they needed it. I could watch my brother’s back when he needed it. But I wasn’t a joiner. That scared kid that got jumped by homophobic assholes still lived inside my head, shouting and crying at times, but I wasn’t weak. The wall I’d built around me helped, but apparently, it wasn’t perfect.
A basic human need for connection was something I hadn’t been able to tame yet. Like a stubborn weed—moving and searching for a crack, an opening to bury deep into, to weaken my fortifications—it remained.
I don’t need anyone.I don’twantanyone.Just gotta make it until May and get out of here. I repeated the words my blood never listened to. Like some weird science shit, my veins hummed as Cal drew close. Hell, he didn’t have to be close, just within sight, just the mention of his name, and my cells pulsed, ready to jump at any second.
The problem was controlling what I’d do when I couldn’t hold back any longer. It hadn’t happened yet, and I was afraid of what I’d unleash if it ever did.
“Guys.” Cal halted the shrinking distance between our teams with a few shoves to shoulders and glares. “Back the fuck off. You’re not doing this here.”
“Yeah. Listen to the voice of reason, pussies,” Ty snapped because of course he couldn’t let it go without a last word.
Cal scowled over his shoulder. “Ty, fuck. Don’t you ever shut up?”
“Nope.”
Cal turned, his big frame acting as a wall to hold his teammates at bay. “Sorry about the kits, bro.”
“Yeah, sure,” Blaine said. “Sorry you didn’t ruin them sooner?”
Cal and Ty huffed in Blaine’s direction. “Calm your tits, Blaine,” Cal said. “It shouldn’t have gone that far.”
“Fuck you, Winters. You don’t get to act all high-and-mighty when it was you who fucked us over.”
Cal clenched his jaw but didn’t take the bait. He was a master at keeping his cool. If I didn’t hate him so much, I’d admire that.
I stayed on the perimeter, almost straddling the invisible lines between the two sides, but kept my eyes peeled for trouble. We didn’t have long between classes, but no one seemed to care. The hall was crowded, everyone eager to watch the show.
“Don’t act so innocent, Blaine.” One of the football players bumped into Cal’s shoulder as he surged forward to get a word in. “You boys have done just as much damage.”
“Of no value,” Blaine was quick to point out.
“Guys,” Cal shouted. “Let’s get to class and cool off.”
“Afraid of us calling it like it is?” Blaine didn’t know when to quit. Any second, teachers would be rounding the corners, wondering where all their students were.
Cal smirked, and my heart rate spiked with it.
None of that, now.
He glanced at the football players behind him. He and a few others were pretty big, but those guys were MIA at the moment. Still, Cal didn’t seem bothered by it or Blaine’s bluster.
“Not afraid, just smarter. No one can afford to get kicked out of school,” Cal said.
Blaine stepped up, surprisingly going toe-to-toe with Cal. I closed the distance between them and me, almost within the same second.
