Cal and I got to our feet and shouldered our backpacks. He even held the door for me, but I was sure it was just to get one last seething glare at Trent before we left his office.
“Fucking bullshit,” Cal grumbled when we were in the hall. The wide space was lined with lockers on either side. His words echoed slightly, but there was no one to hear except me. A twisted voice in my head whispered,how you want it to be.
And fuck me, if that wasn’t all too true.
More than I wanted to keep fighting, I wanted to stay close to him but couldn’t think how to make that happen without arguing. So, of course, it pissed me off.
“Figure out how to call off your football dogs, and we won’t have to do this for long,” I snapped. Even I was amazed at how much venom I could muster for him. Jesus, why couldn’t I just stop?
“You think this is all my fault too?” Cal’s eyebrows pulled together as if my words hurt, and then they settled low over his eyes. “Fine.” His lips thinned. “I’ll shoulder it. You and your brother go play heroes, and I’ll do the work.”
I shoved his shoulder, and a shot of heat arced from my wrist into my chest. I hadn’t meant to touch him the other day or now, but something greater than my willpower took over my body sometimes. I fisted my fingers tightly to hold on to the phantom throb lingering there.
“Don’t act so innocent. Ty told me what you guys were planning.”
Cal ducked his chin to stare at his shoulder where I had touched him. What was he thinking? Certainly, it wasn’t how sculpted that shoulder was or how much it had warmed my palm. I already wanted my hand on him again. Thiswhateverbetween us wasn’t good in the slightest and would only get worse if we were forced to be around each other as the school planned.
“Iaminnocent,” he bit through a clenched jaw. “You started this.”
“And I suppose you had no part in those pranks?”
Cal opened his mouth but only gaped at me for a long moment. At least he wasn’t going to lie about it. “Less of a part than you think,” he finally said. “Do you know how much trouble I’d be in if I got kicked out of school? I’m not that stupid.”
“That’s questionable at best.”
“You know what? Fuck this. I’m not required to talk to you right now.” Cal spun around and stalked off in the opposite direction of his first class, but was probably too angry to notice or course correct if he did.
He rounded a corner, head and shoulders slumped, but somehow with confidence surrounding him. Maybe it was the athlete in him, the steadiness in his own body.
Since my first crush, I’d never felt so lost. I’d confessed to Kenny within days of realizing how I felt. He'd been my first kiss. The next guy had been straight, and I read his shyness all wrong. It’d been live and learn since.
Now, I was that same kid again. Inexperienced in how to handle these emotions that kept me off-balance.
Cal wasn’t throwing off any gay vibes, and he definitely wasn’t like the shy-but-straight one. I had forced myself out of crushes before or just didn’t let them get off the ground to begin with. So why couldn’t I stop this? Without an answer in sight, I turned and headed for class.
Ty scanned me as soon as I was through the door, worried probably, and watched as I took my seat. Actually, everyone watched me. Notoriety sucked.
Five minutes later, Cal walked in.
We locked eyes over the head of every other student, as if we had no control, as if we couldn’t stop it. Jaw tight, he twisted the grip he had on his backpack’s strap like he might rip it apart. Ty kicked my foot under the desk, and Cal looked away at the same time I did, neither of us showing any signs of giving ground on this.
I filled Ty in on the cooked-up plan the faculty had concerning Cal and me over our lunch period.
“Maybe this could work,” Ty said.
“How? We can’t even breathe near each other without it sparking a fight.”
Ty laughed. “I can’t believe the school put you two in couples therapy.”
I had to snicker at the irony of that too.
When three rolled around, I made my way to Trent’s office for our first weekly session. Cal ducked into the room ahead of me and didn’t hold the door this time.
Keep calm, and get through it, I silently coached myself.
We settled across from Trent and stared at him, both of us silent, waiting for him to get this therapy going. No stranger to these types of sessions, I wasn’t at all surprised by Trent’s opener.
“Tell me how this started.” When neither of us said anything, he added, “Cal. Since you weren’t the new student this year, how about you go first.”
