Maybe she could have both, the inn and her dreams.
But first, she had to be brave enough to want it out loud, just as Dani recommended.
CHAPTER 18
The next morning, Kate stood in front of Coastal Pharmacy's small selection of makeup, feeling ridiculous. She'd come in for Pop's medications but found herself lingering in the cosmetics aisle like a teenager. The fluorescent lights made everything look harsh and unforgiving, and she couldn't remember if she was warm-toned or cool-toned or what the difference even was.
She picked up a lipstick, coral-colored, nothing dramatic. Fourteen dollars. Kate set it back immediately. She couldn't justify fourteen dollars for something so frivolous.
“Katie Perkins, is that you?”
Kate turned to find Mrs. Gilbert, the pharmacist, smiling at her with curiosity.
“Just picking up Pop's prescriptions,” Kate said, stepping away from the display.
“They're not ready yet. Twenty minutes.” Mrs. Gilbert's eyes went to the makeup display, then back to Kate. “Looking for anything special?”
“Just killing time.”
Mrs. Gilbert moved past her to straighten the display. “You know, I remember when you used to come in here every week for that cherry lip gloss. Senior year, wasn't it?”
“That was a long time ago, seventeen years to be exact.”
“Seventeen years isn't so long. You were quite something back then. All the boys noticed when Katie Perkins walked by.”
Kate almost laughed. “That was a different person.”
“Was it?” Mrs. Gilbert adjusted her glasses. “Or is she still in there somewhere?”
Kate mumbled something about checking on the prescriptions and escaped to the other side of the store. She wandered the aisles, looking at bandages and vitamins and things she didn't need. But she kept thinking about that coral lipstick. It was a pretty color, subtle, the kind of thing she might have worn before.
Before. Her life seemed divided into before and after. Before Mom got sick. Before Pop's mind started failing. Before she became the person who stayed, who handled everything, who didn't have time for fourteen-dollar lipstick.
She found herself back at the cosmetics display. The coral lipstick was still there, waiting. Kate picked it up again, twisted the bottom to see the color. It was nice. Pretty without trying too hard. The kind of thing that might make her look less tired, less worn down by responsibility.
She put it back and walked to the pharmacy counter to wait for Pop's medications.
“Prescriptions are ready,” Mrs. Gilbert called.
Kate paid for Pop's medications, three different bottles that would hopefully slow his decline but couldn't stop it. Two hundred dollars even with insurance. She counted out the bills carefully.
She was halfway to the door when she heard her mother's voice in her head, clear as day: “Life's too short to deny yourself small pleasures, Katie.”
Her mother, who'd given up wealth for love, who'd made the inn beautiful on a shoestring budget, who'd worn the same rose perfume every day because it made her feel pretty.
Kate turned around and walked back to the cosmetics aisle. Before she could overthink it, she grabbed the coral lipstick and returned to the counter.
“Changed your mind?” Mrs. Gilbert asked, smiling.
“Something like that.”
Mrs. Gilbert rang it up, put it in a small separate bag. “Good for you. I think this color is perfect for you.”
Kate sat in her truck in the parking lot, staring at the little tube. Fourteen dollars she couldn't really spare for something she'd probably be too self-conscious to wear. But she'd bought it. For herself. For no practical reason at all, instead just to feel pretty.
The guilt hit immediately, but she pushed it down. It was done. She'd made one impractical decision in five years of practical ones. The world wouldn't end because of one lipstick.
She looked in the rearview mirror and uncapped the lipstick. Angling the mirror, she brushed the color on in two quick passes. Bottom lip, top lip. She blotted with the back of her hand, surprised it didn’t look ridiculous.
