Mom exhaled slowly, then settled onto the barstool next to me. She ruffled her slim fingers through the longer hair on top of my head. Such a simple gesture, but her Mom Magic worked, and the words came easier this time.
“This guy, he … I can’t stand him.” Not exactly a lie, but not the full truth. I couldn’t stand how he never left my mind, how he lit my insides on fire, how he made me act like an ass just to hide how I felt.
Mom nodded for me to keep going when I glanced at her.
“I try so hard to keep everything in and everyone out, you know? He just pisses me off so much and so fast. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to stop being so mad all the time.” I huffed, hating how sorry for myself I sounded.
“Oh, Jack.” Her pained tone on my behalf hardened my insides against the weakness. “I know you’ve got good reasons for your determination to keep everyone at arm’s length, but I promise you, not everyone is going to be out to get you. You might be surprised if you open up.”
“Or get jumped again,” I said as I scratched the scar on the back of my head.
“Is he harassing you?” she snapped in that mama-bear way.
“No. It’s not like that. I think I started it anyway.”
Mom tapped her nails on the countertop for a few seconds. “You’ve never been the bully before. Even when that kid, oh, what’s his name?”
“Blaine?”
“Yes, Blaine. He didn’t like that you and Ty were named captains, but you didn’t let that get to you.”
“No, it’s not like that either. Blaine had his ego slapped. Cal is …” I struggled to name it.
Concern pulled her brows low while she rubbed my back. “Tell me about him. Cal isn’t a common name.”
“Calvin,” I said. “Calvin Winters, one of the football captains. By every account, he’s a good guy. Smart, nice. He’s got a younger sister, and everyone says how sweet he is with her. You know, all protective brother stuff.”
Mom’s smile returned. “Sounds like a good start.”
“Maybe.” I stared at the counter under my elbows. “He and I didn’t hit it off from the word go. He’s …” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I always tell myself they’re straight.”
“Ahh, I see.”
I snapped my eyes open and huffed. “I mean, nine times out of ten, they will be, right? Same with him. I guess I got pissed when I told myself that this time, and he got pissed right back. I’ve had crushes before, you know?” I dropped my chin and focused on my fidgeting fingers. “Cal is different, and I can’t deal with it. It’s, like, the worst timing ever, and I just got mad, then really mad, then he got mad because I was mad.” I sighed and dropped my head. “It’s all messed up.”
Mom circled my shoulders with her arms and tightened them when I slumped in defeat.
“I refuse to let myself open up again, and I gave in to the anger over it. Now, all we do is fight with each other. Uh, word fights, I mean, but it’s been some really mean stuff. Then the pranks started. Now the whole school is in on it. We kinda had it out this morning, just pushing each other around. We’ve never done that before,” I hastily tacked on, then sighed. “I don’t think Iwantto hate him. It’s just easier, and now I can’t stop.”
Mom brushed my long bangs from my face.
“The last prank I was personally involved in was when we washed the football jerseys in glitter.”
Mom snorted, then sucked her lips in to suppress a smile.
“It was harmless and stupid. It annoyed the piss out of them, and that was all I wanted. Since then, it’s just gotten worse, but it hasn’t been me. I swear.”
“I believe you, Jack. You’re too controlled and smart to be doing anything that would cause real damage. Your dad knows it too. He’s angry about the whole thing and how the school has handled it. Or rather, how they haven’t handled it before it got this out of control.”
“Me too.”
“Maybe you should figure out how to put an end to it with Cal’s help. Think he’d do that?”
I shrugged. “I dunno. Pretty sure we can’t talk to each other in a civilized manner. It might be too late for that.”
“It’s never too late. Don’t regret not trying, sweetie. Once the school year is over and this thing between you two is patched up, who knows what could happen. He could be your dream guy.”
I snorted. “Snowballs in hell have better odds.”
