One word.
Progress.
Now add another.
“Mom, I…”
My stomach is churning, my hands are clammy, my heartbeat is racing and I swear my vision is pulsing.
“Mom. I’m in a polyamorous relationship with Callum, Jax, Emmett, and Knox.”
She nods her head, but doesn’t speak.
I continue, filling the space with words and thoughts that fly out of my mouth like vomit. “They are fantastic. Amazing. And so wonderful.” Tears start streaming down my face, but my voice doesn’t crack. “They treat me with so much respect and love and…” I sigh. “They have given me so much confidence. I feel like the woman I was meant to be with them. They love me so much and I love them. I’ve been so excited to share them with you and dad but I’ve been so scared… so scared you would disown me. Not understand-”
“Everlee.” She grabs my arm and we stop walking. “Breathe.”
She stares at me, her eyes searching my face, and I search hers back for any hint of what she’s thinking, feeling, or about to say.
She cocks her head to the side.
This isn’t good.
No good can come from a head side tilt.
That’s the look you give someone when you need to deliver bad news, but you want to come across as more sincere. Like the pain of the words is too much for your head to hold, so it falls to the side.
A warm resolve passes through me, and I close my eyes. This is it. So long family dinners and holidays. Hello bullet train to hell.
Oh God. What if she kidnaps me and tries to convert me back to… well, monoamory. I know that’s not a word, but I can’t think of what the correct word would be that’s not polyamory. Why would polyamory mean multiple lovers but monoamory can’t mean one lover?
She’d never kidnap me and try to convert me. Everlee. Take a beat.
“Well, I suspected something most of the week.” She walks again, and I follow. “Not really sure what I expected, though. Couldn’t wrap my head around you with all of them, but I could see it, you know. The way they are with you and you with them. Hell, even Beckett and Lizzy. You all just sort of fit. I assume they both know?”
“Yes.”
“The way they watch after you, care for you. I see it. I do. They love you. Earlier today, watching Jax run after you without a thought for his own life to rescue you.” Her voice cracks as tears pour down her face. “My God Everlee, if that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.”
Her words do little to calm the worry jolting through my body, because I feel like we’re only climbing up a hill for the cliff to appear and swallow us up.
“I don’t know much about polyamory. Have you been… this… for long?”
Her confusion around the politically correctness makes me chuckle. “It’s not really a thing I am. I’m in a relationship with four men.”
“I can hardly keep your father happy, and here you are with four,” she huffs, trying to smile.
“But to answer your question, no. They are the first and will be the last. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”
“It’s new.” Her words don’t come across as harsh, but just a fact.
I bobble my head from side to side. “It’s been since February.”
“What? So Easter was planned?”
“God, no.” How could I tell her I signed an NDA and a sexual contract, only giving me two good fucks… without saying all those words? “We met in February and things were going great, really great… and I got scared and left them. When they showed up at Easter, it was a complete surprise for all of us. We had no idea either was going to be there and we sort of reconnected. I was miserable during that time without them and the same for them. It was then I realized I wanted to give this thing a go, because I couldn’t imagine spending one second without them.”
“Your new place… is their house?”
