I put my arms around him.
As we cry together, I feel like a huge piece of my life has broken off and left me. What’s scariest of all, though, is the tiny—but distinct—feeling of relief in my chest. I’m officially single for the first time since I was sixteen years old, and I feel surprisingly calm. For someone who hates change, my reaction stuns me. But it’s undeniable.
When I pull back, I tilt my head to the microscope still sitting between us.
“I guess we just outgrew this,” I say to him. “We met over a microscope, but things change.”
Sometimes you break up over a microscope too.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I look for the hundredth time into the only floor-length mirror Sophia has in her apartment. My button-down pink flannel shirt should keep me warm, plus I put a wrap-around black sweater over it, and I like how they match with my holey blue jeans. The jeans came holey, which is not typically my style. I bought them for five dollars, and nothing else fits me this comfortably. I turn around and look at myself from behind one last time before putting on another layer of pale pink lipstick and a second touch of mascara.
I hear the front door open, and I hurry out of the bathroom to meet Sophia.
“Somebody’s looking hot.” She stands in the open doorway, and a gust of wind comes in with her.
“Soph, shut the door for a minute. It’s another cold night, and I want to put on my coat first.”
“You better get cozy with the cool weather,” she says. “Because if you want Brayden to see that body of yours, you’re not going to be able to keep your coat on all night. This is your first night with Brayden as a single woman. You want him to see your body, don’t you?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not sure what I want these days. I haven’t seen Brayden since he dropped me off after dance class.”
She leans over to give me a hug. “I still can’t believe you and Phillip broke up this week. How are you feeling?”
“I…” I almost feel guilty saying the truth. “It’s been hard, of course. But part of me feels like a huge burden has been lifted off me. I sound like an awful person for saying that, I know.”
“No, you don’t, Leleila.” Sophia shakes her head. “Phillip’s not the right forever guy for you. You’re such a bright light, and he’s always dimmed your glow. This breakup is supposed to be a good thing.”
I fiddle with the buttons on my coat. “Honestly, a part of me was looking for an exit door too. Just like he was.” I look at her outfit. “You’re going to freeze.”
Sophia’s long-sleeved sheer top looks like it’s meant to be worn in July, not to mention her short skirt. “Slammer will keep me warm. Let’s go watch some football, honey.”
* * *
Wilcox High football stadium is loud with screaming fans as Sophia and I make our way through the crowd to the seats she swears Slammer has saved for us.
“So crowded,” I say to her. “I forgot how many people come to these games.”
“You’ll have fun this time!” Sophia calls back to me. “Tonight will heal your demons, Lei.”
The idea of going to a bonfire party makes my stomach twist in knots. But going to the party single, a label I haven’t had since I went to my last party, shakes me to my core. I feel off-balance, like the foundation I’ve been leaning on for years is gone.
But I can’t deny the sense of freedom I feel. Being able to do whatever I want tonight, with no one to answer to, is a sensation I haven’t felt in twelve years.
Sophia stops abruptly, and Slammer immediately pulls her onto his lap. I take a seat next to them and try to calm my nerves.
I’m not prepared for Slammer to start groping Sophia as soon as the game starts, but I should expect no less.
When they’re done with that, Slammer insists on getting a beer.
The game is exciting. Wilcox is really good, and by halftime, they’re up by three touchdowns. I follow the game, but in all honesty, I spend more of my time scoping out Brayden on the sidelines. He looks so official as he strides along the bench, kneeling down to talk to different players as they come off the field.
“He works with the offense the most,” Slammer says to me. “He was a stud when he played.”
Brayden stands up tall and scans the crowd almost like he’s looking for someone.
Then he locks eyes with me and puts up a two-fingered wave.
