“You both saved me,” she said.
He rolled over and faced her, eyes full of regret. “You savedme, Orelia. That fucking asshole nearly had me. You were the one that took him out, and Elshar killed Fren so I could get free. I did fucking nothing to help either of you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. I failed you both.”
“It isn’t your responsibility to—”
“Youare my responsibility, Orelia. It’s my job to keep you safe. I almost died tonight. Then you would have died, too.”
She swallowed, having somehow forgotten that incredibly important detail. But she couldn’t stand the guilt on his face. Orelia placed her palm on his chest. “But we didn’t, and we’re safe. It’s my job to protect you, too. You’re always the one getting me out of trouble, and finally, I got to help you.”
He shook his head. “You are my responsibility and mine alone. And tonight, I failed you.”
“All of this doesn’t rest on you. It’s my fault we’re even in this situation, and you don’t have to bear all the weight yourself, Vade. I want to help, too. Let me.”
He gently gripped her wrist and pulled her hand from his chest. “Don’t do that. Don’t be kind when I don’t deserve it.”
“But you do.”
“No, I don’t. I . . .” He let out a defeated breath. “There is no good in me. I don’t deserve anything.”
“Did your father make you believe that?”
His eyes flew to hers. “Fucking Elshar . . .” he grumbled. “That’s how you knew I was a Sharpe. He told you.”
She nodded. The gut-clenching feeling of being powerless as she watched Balor prick Vade’s neck with the knife came back in force. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the other questions right.” Her heart pinched as her eyes traveled over the wounds on his neck and the bruises on his face, knowing some were because of her failure.
He set her arm down between them. “I didn’t expect you to. I don’t share myself with anyone, so how could you have known?”
In the warm bed, in the quiet night, she wanted nothing more than to take his pain away—internal and external. He was complicated, and she didn’t understand his motivations, but she couldn’t keep herself from wanting to heal his hurt. “You can share yourself with me,” she whispered. “I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”
Vade searched her eyes for so long that she thought he might have forgotten what she’d said. But she was patient, and eventually, he spoke.
He let out a deep sigh and adjusted his arm under the pillow, positioning himself so there was only a couple of inches betweenthem.
“My father was chieftain of the Sharpes. I was expected to take his place when I was old enough, as all firstborns are. I’m an only child, and my mother almost died giving birth to me.” He swallowed. “I think that’s why she hated me so much. I nearly took her life, and she couldn’t conceive after me.”
Orelia could feel her tears growing.
“My father was the most heartless man I’ve ever known, so I guess that’s where I get it from. I saw him burn children alive. I watched him set his falcon on a woman and listened to her scream as the bird tore her flesh until she was unrecognizable. I’ve seen him do many things. Terrible things he forced me to watch. Said it’d make me stronger.”
It felt like someone was squeezing her heart. “That’s awful.”
“That’s the Points,” he said frankly. “My wings didn’t grow at the rate of the other fae children, and that was the biggest disappointment to my father. Elshar helped me when he could, but he’s a Horn, and they stick to their western Point unless there’s an all-tribe meeting.”
Vade took a steadying breath, and Orelia braced herself for what she thought was coming next.
“At one of those meetings, my father decided to get rid of his disappointing son once and for all. While we were high up on the ridge outside the aviary in the howling wind and stinging snow, he decided to make an example out of his useless boyandkicked me off the side of the mountain. Without working wings to stop me from slamming into the ground, I should have been dead.” His face pinched. “There were times over those next few days I wished I was.”
With great effort, Orelia kept quiet, afraid any comment would make him retreat into himself.
His eyes went distant, unfocused on the space between them. “I remember waking up, and everything hurt so much that I couldn’t move until nightfall. Once I could get my limbs to work, I found a cave on the side of the mountain where I could wait out the incoming blizzard. At night, when my fire had gone out and the wind had finally quit howling, I wondered what color the sky was on a clear day. I knew it couldn’t possibly be gray all the time. I told myself if I survived that icy hellscape I would leave and never come back. Not without knowing color. Not without knowing what else was out there as I clung to a small hope that life offered something other than pain.”
Tears dripped onto her pillow, and she wanted so badly to hug him.
“I didn’t eat and nearly froze to death, but I worked my way up the mountain little by little, and three days later, I returned to my tribe.”
