He gets them halfway down. Then his movements slow, stopping altogether. I look at his face and my stomach fills with dread. He no longer has that wild hungry look in his eyes. His jaw is clenched and his body rigid. He mutterssomething in Russian, harsh and angry, not sweet like before. I don’t know what I did wrong. Maybe he saw something, a scar, one of the many faint lines from Grigori’s belt buckle. I thought most of them faded enough to not be so obvious. I hate this.
“Roman?” I whisper. “Is it the sc?—”
"This isn't happening," he snaps, tearing his hand away from me. My mind blanks as he jerks back, no longer touching me. I search his face, my chest hurting and my stomach dropping. What did I do wrong? Why won’t he tell me?
“I don’t understand.”
He won’t look at me. He shoves a hand through his hair, turning away from my naked breasts, avoiding even looking at my face.
“Roman, wait.”
He shakes his head already moving to the door like he can’t get away fast enough. "I have to go."
He opens the door, leaving without even letting me know if he’d be back.
CHAPTER 14
ROMAN
I should have fucked her last night. Done what I wanted, what she wanted and buried myself deep inside her cunt before I had the chance to change my mind.
Instead, I spent three hours in a bar drowning in vodka that did nothing to erase her from my mind. No amount of alcohol could stop me from thinking about going back to finish what I started. Her gasps, how she responded to my touch and those fucking needy sounds she kept making.
I stayed away until I knew she'd be asleep, safe from me and the part of me that wanted to go back and finish what I started.
Nala needs to understand there’ll never be anything between us. She can't be my girl. The sooner she gets that through her head, the better. I don’t have a choice anymore. This little back-and- forth, the looks, the talking, and now the kissing. It’s over. I’m shutting this down today. Now.
I lock my expression down the way I do when I deal with enemies. Cold. Unreadable. I bury whatever softness I feel toward her.
She steps into the living room, her movements hesitant. I don't look up from my laptop even though I'm so damn aware of everything about her. I don’t need to see her to know her eyes are softening, despite what I did to her last night. She probably has her bottom lip between her teeth, because of how nervous she is.
Yeah. Nala, I fucking know you.
She edges closer to the table. I straighten my posture, keeping the act of being busy. Distant. Unapproachable. I hear her suck in a deep breath, working up the nerve to talk to the monster in front of her. The one I mentioned before. The one I’m about to become.
"Roman.” Her voice is soft, tentative. “Can we talk?"
"No."
"But last night… Don't you think we need to talk about what happened?"
"Nothing to talk about."
"There is. I want to know what went wrong. Why you left."
"That’s easy. Last night was a mistake. Don’t worry. It won’t happen again."
I keep my eyes fixed on the screen. It’s easier to do this without looking at her face.
"Why was it a mistake? I liked what we did. It felt good." Her voice slowly gains strength. "I think you liked it too. Roman, I felt your penis. I don’t know a lot, but I know it was hard, really hard. You wanted to put it inside me."
I still do. Every hour of every fucking day.
I slam the laptop shut and look her dead in the eyes. "What I wanted doesn't matter."
"Yes it does. What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense."
"It doesn't have to make sense to you," I grit. "It was a mistake. That's all you need to know."
