20
Her relationship with Chase, the man she’d begun to build her dreams around, was over. Larke cradled her face on her knees, giving in to the loud sobs racking her frame.
God. She could still see the look on his face when she’d opened the door. Betrayed. Did Chase view what happened as her abandoning him, the same way his mother had done when he was a boy? She wanted to bury her head in her hand and cry all over again.
Sniffling and wiping viciously at her eyes with a piece of the paper towel she’d grabbed from the kitchen after he’d left, Larke glanced at the printed manuscript she’d been working on. Minutes ago, sentences and phrases had been her biggest problem and now... Well now, she didn’t know how she’d ever be happy again.
Chase had ripped her heart to pieces and the pain had started the moment she heard him say he couldn’t walk away. Larke wrapped her arms around her stomach as a wave of nausea hit her. Why couldn’t he have told her he’d changed his mind, after seeing how upset and hurt she was? What kind of love was that?
But Chase had loved her, her mind insisted. How he’d said it to her that day. Those three words had come straight from his heart. He couldn’t have faked the anguish she’d heard in his voice, the hardening of his jaws as he realized he’d confessed his true feelings for her. But it still hadn’t been enough. Love hadn’t been enough for him to choose her.
In the days following the breakup, Larke allowed herself the time to cry and grieve. On the fourth day, with her eyes red and swollen, she forced herself to leave the comfort of her apartment and join the rest of the world outside. Mainly for cheesecake. After confessing to her friend about the breakup, Riva invited her for ice cream. The frozen treat had been another reminder of Chase so they’d settled on cake and lots of it at a local bakery and pastry shop.
As much as Larke disliked turning to food for comfort, as she’d done during childhood while dealing with her parent’s divorce, it didn’t impede her from eating every morsel of the cheesecake. She ordered seconds and then thirds. A shattered heart was more than enough reason to indulge, she reasoned.
Sadly, however, not even the sweetness of cake could assuage the pain or prevent her from missing Chase. Talking, being around and having him insideher. She missed it all. Without him, she was lost. Utterly lost. She hoped he felt the same without her.
Over the next two weeks, Larke was slowly able to get back into her regular routine, even managing to finish her manuscript. But once, though, in a bout of sadness, a moment of darkness, she’d broken down and called him. Chase hadn’t answered on the first ring, and by the third, she’d regained her sanity and hung up.
The second time she’d contacted him was deliberate and thought out. It happened after Riva had called to ask if she’d heard what happened in Lee’s Fortress. She hadn’t.
Larke had grabbed up the remote and turned on the television, only to catch the end of the news segment. The last image had been of a blazing fire with smoke everywhere.
Within seconds, she’d had her phone in hand again, trying desperately to reach Chase. It was only natural that she wanted to—needed to make sure he was all right. They might not be together but that didn’t mean her love for him had diminished. As before he didn’t answer. Worried, Larke made it a point to call again later in the day. There was still no answer.
“If you ever call me and I don’t pick up right away, it’s not cause I’m ignoring you…”Chase wouldn’t have ignored her then, but now? Her heart stilled at the possibilities. Either he was injured or he was ignoring her because she no longer mattered to him.
Stricken with concern and panic, Larke raced outside to her car and drove the distance to Lee’s Fortress, a place she’d always made a point to avoid. The community looked the same as the last time she’d driven by with her mother many years ago.
The narrow streets were lined with houses in derelict condition, strips of paint peeling from the outside walls. Unattended gardens were overrun with weed. As she ventured deeper into the town, Larke noticed an area that was sectioned off with barricade tape from the fire department. Although the fire no longer blazed, it was clear that it had spread far enough to destroy not one but two buildings. Was one of them Chase’s home? She’d never know.
Larke wasn’t sure what she’d expected to find here. Maybe bystanders...one of them Chase. All she wanted was to know he hadn’t been affected. That he was alive. But there was no one here. Not the one person she wanted to see.
With a heart heavy, she returned home. Alone in her apartment. Alone with the pain of not knowing.
Determined to put her mind at ease, and out of sheer desperation to hear his voice, she decided to put everything aside—pride, hurt and anger. Every single inch of her body, heart, and soul still yearned for him. Chase had become her best friend and the only person she’d ever want to be with. So, unable to do anything less, Larke held her phone, reaching out once more. Her heart sank with each and every ring that went unanswered. On the verge of hanging up, she finally heard him. Chase’s voice, deep and rough, that sounded oh so sweet to her ears because it meant he was alive. He hadn’t been inside the fire. But was he also safe? All right?
“Chase,” she breathed. “I’ve tried calling you so many times.”
“I know.” His tone was flat. So unlike the way he normally spoke to her. “I noticed the calls.”
“If you saw them, why didn’t you return my calls? I know about the fire. Are you okay? Was it your house?”
“I’m fine. One of the houses belonged to Trevor.” He let out a breath. “I thought we were making a clean break of it.”
She gripped the phone harder, almost as if by doing so she’d be able to touch him. “You had to have known how worried I’d be.”
He went silent. After a long moment, he asked, “How are you, Larke?”
Her hands shook, as well as her voice. “Not so good to be honest.”
“No?”
Was he concerned? She hated no longer knowing what he thought of her.
“I miss you a lot.” She squeezed her eyes shut then opened them, overcome with emotion and unable to stop herself. “I still love you, Chase and I wanted to know if you’ve been thinking about me. About the things I said to you.”
“Yeah. I did. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we broke up. You were right to cut me loose. “
