Seconds ticked by with him staring at her long and hard. For a brief moment, she was afraid of his reaction. His features relaxed. “No,” he said quietly. “It’s not a nice feeling.”
Larke smiled; relieved he’d thought the question through and answered honestly. When Chase turned to her with a boyish grin, her heart skipped a beat. “Apart from liking meat, why’d you wanna go hunting with me?” He pointed to her backpack, which was packed lighter than before. “If I take you with me next season, you can’t bring that along. It’s cute and all, but it ain’t fit for hunting.”
“I know.” She really did. Talking to him yesterday had helped a lot. Planning and being prepared was okay, but sometimes a person needed tonotbe prepared. She hadn’t expected Chase to enter her life, hadn’t been ready or prepared for him, but here they were and it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Now they had each other.
His gaze washed over her and then he let out a deep sigh. “Larke. You know you’re braver than I am, right? Hell, you took a chance with me,afterfinding out I’d been watching you on top of everything else. That night–when we were kids–I probably would’ve gone insane if I’d been in there with anyone else. You were so calm, even telling a story. You can handle anything that comes your way. If I’m not sure of anything in life, on this I know I’m dead right.”
How to respond to that? Chase had such faith in her. Standing there with her heart inside her throat, Larke could only hope her actions showed him that she also believed in him. Somehow she managed to speak, whispering a throaty ‘thank you’ as they fell into silence, walking side by side.
There was no awkward moment. No struggle to make small talk. Only the peaceful feeling of knowingthere was no need for noise, they were together, enjoying the other’s company and that was enough.
After leaving the depth of the woodlands, they crossed into a path designated as walking trail. The mid-summer sun was high in the sky, breaking through the shade. The trail itself, along with the blue skies and simmering rays of sunlight hitting the ground, trees, and wildflowers peeking through the grass, reminded her of something out of a fairytale.
Larke contemplated stopping to take a couple of pictures on her phone. Perhaps it would provide inspiration for a new series idea she’d been toying with to present to her publisher. She shifted her head, ready to share her thoughts with Chase when a loud bark sounded from behind them. They both glanced backward, noticing a small chunky black and white pug coming up from behind them. The tag on its collar jingled.
Behind the dog was a little boy, running and crying out, “Jellybean, come back here! Stop.” A short distance away they could both see a black woman who Larke assumed was the boy’s mother, walking fast while pushing a stroller, calling out to the child and the dog.
As the pug attempted to whiz by, Chase reached out with smooth efficiency, grabbing a hold of its leash. Larke whistled, shaking her head with admiration. “You hunt, you carve knives andstuff, and now you catch runaway puppies.”
He looked at her and grinned. “I’m good, right?”
She laughed and slapped his shoulder as the child came to up to them, his hand on his knee and panting. “Thanks, mister.” He gazed up at Chase, who handed him the leash. “We got her a few days ago from the animal shelter. Didn’t think she’d run away from me. And we just started training her too.”
“It’s cool. Better keep a tighter grip next time, kid.”
The boy nodded, smiling at him. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”
“Jesus, Mikey. I told you to––”
The woman never finished whatever it was she had meant to say. She was in front of them now, her gaze flitting between Larke and Chase then centering on his tattoos. The boy’s mother looked up. She was eyeing Chase with anger and disgust stretching across her face.
A fist tightened and gutted Larke deep in the pit of her stomach. The pain began to coil itself everywhere inside her body. Was this for the woman? Chase? Both. Larke wasn’t sure. All she knew was, that woman who had the same skin color and was not much older than herself, had seen the symbols and read the words across Chase’s arms for the first time. Larke remembered that pain. It was a deep one.
Beside her, she could feel Chase stiffen. She noticed the hardening of his jaw and the scowl on his face. Defensive mode. The woman inched backward, scooping one arm around her son, the other tightening around the handle of the stroller.
“Come on Mikey, let’s go home.”
Larke kept her eyes peeled to the woman hurrying off. She could hear the curt warning to the child, telling him he needed to keep a tighter hold on the leash. The woman then canted her head, peering over her shoulder, giving Larke a long puzzled stare. It was easy to understand the woman’s confusion. If the tables were turned, Larke knew she would’ve done the same––wondering what the heck someone like her was doing with a man like Chase.
She sucked in a breath. The truth was, that woman and everyone else had no idea about the intricacy of her and Chase’s relationship. Of course, it was unimaginable for them to understand that beneath the rough, white supremacist exterior, was a man who was growing and trying to change his ways. They wouldn’t know that he was becoming her best friend and treated her with respect, caring and such tender affection that made her heart swell each and every day. And because of that, she needed to suck up the stares, toughen up and realize that things like this would happen more often than not.
While searching her mind for the right thing to say, Chase saved her the work by quietly asking, “Do you have any regrets, Larke?”
“A few,” she answered truthfully. “I have a younger half-sister. My father remarried and his wife gave birth when I was around fourteen. They wanted me to fly out to Missouri to meet the baby and spend time with them. I refused. I had gotten used to him not being a physical part of my life and I suppose I was angry that he had a new family. At the time I didn’t care how much my decision hurt him and his wife. My mom tried to convince me to go, but ultimately it was my decision. Looking back, I see how childish I’d been. We’ve all made up since then, and I love my little sister, but that was a selfish act I regret to this day.”
He nodded. “You know the feeling. The thing is, I started getting these tattoos when I was a teen. Fifteen actually.” He shook his head and let out a snort. “It’s funny. Funny in a shitty kind of way, that of all the people I can talk to about this, it’s you.” He paused, his eyes appearing somber. “Or maybe not. Maybe it makes more sense than even I know, since as far as I can tell, you’re the only person who understands or even care totryand understand me.”
“You can always talk to me about anything,” she said facing him. “Do you regret getting your tattoos?”
He was quiet for a while. He rubbed his forehead and said, “I’m not gonna stand here and lie to you that I’m a completely changed man or some crap like that. That wouldn’t be fair. But I’m definitely trying to see things from a different angle. Understand more than I did before. As for the tattoos, yeah, I regret some of them. This right here on my arm. I can’t get that image outta my head of you seeing it for the first time. Made me feel like absolute shit and I didn’t know why I even cared what you thought. Last night I told you to forget about them, but it ain’t that simple, is it?”
“No. It isn’t,” Larke agreed. “Did you also care when you saw how sad and scared that lady looked?”
“Cared? I don’t know if that’s the right word. I don’t know her––don’t wanna know her. But it didn’t make me feelgoodto see that look on her face.” He went quiet, appearing deep in thought. “Yeah. I guess in a way it did bother me.”
“And it didn’t before?”
“No. Never. Except for you.” Chase drew in a breath. “If it wasn’t so damn hot, I would’ve worn a long-sleeved shirt, like I did before when I figured out how much the tattoos bothered you.”
Larke shook her head. “You can’t go around covering them up all the time. Especially in summer. It’s too hot like you said. For now, we’ll just have to deal with it.”
They continued along the path until he stopped in mid-stride, turning to her. “Did it upset you, what happened a while ago? Were you embarrassed?”
She bit her lip. “It upset me. The situation. Not you. I’m not angry with you. It’s just upsetting that there are so many misunderstandings and misgivings out there. Like how you mentioned to me before that the government favors minorities. That’s not true. Anything the government does for minorities is to try and put them on equal footing with white people. We’re always a step behind because of our skin color. These programs only try to even the playing field. It’s needed.”
She raised her gaze to study his reaction. There was no usual hardening of his jaw or tick in his cheek. Larke continued. “There’s a lot out there that’s hard to understand for black and white people, everyone really. Take that little boy with the dog. I wonder if he saw those words on your arm––if he understood what they meant. And his mother, what happens when they get home? Will she have to explain it all to him? That’ll be hard on her. Not only that but he’ll also be confused, wondering why I was walking beside you. None of it will make sense to the child. So you see it’s not a matter of embarrassment. Not at all. I’m not embarrassed to be with you or be seen with you. I care about you so much. I only wish this wasn’t an issue between us. I don’t want to feel like an exceptional black person. I’m no better than anyone else. I’m not gorgeous or brilliant. I’m just an average girl. A regular black person.” She let out a deep breath and held out her hand, struggling for the right words to further explain her feelings. Words were too hard sometimes. “I don’t know if what I said made much sense. All I know is I try to get along with everyone.”
“I know,” Chase murmured thickly. “Trust me, Larke, I know that’s what you do. I have that necklace you gave me as proof. Been doing so ever since you were a little girl.” He loped his arm around her waist. “I’m not trying to brush off anything you said but to me, there’s nothing average about you. When I was in the bowling alley, before I heard your name, I couldn’t take my eyes off you and that confused the hell out of me. When I realized you were the same girl I’d met as a kid, it was like something went off inside my head and I knew why I was reacting the way I was. You were the first person to be kind to me and I guess that kind of stuck with me on some level. About everything else you said––I get it. I really do, angel and I’m working on myself. I can’t make promises, but I’m not gonna be like a fucking moron and make decisions based on everything I was taught to believe.”
She clasped her hand to his, the love she was beginning to feel for him blossomed inside her heart. “That’s all I can ask for right now.”
