“Doesn’t matter, Lexi,” I whisper, my thumb brushing her knee. “You come first. Always.”
Her lower lip wobbles, and I can’t take it anymore. I pull her onto my lap, and she comes willingly.
We don’t say anything more as we cuddle together under the moonlight, the fire warming us on the cool summer night.
I want to live in this moment forever. I don’t want this night to end.
Chapter 6
Lexi
Last night was exactly what I needed. It took my mind off everything, and I just got to laugh and smile with my best friend.
Then the sun went down, and reality came creeping in. With every passing day, my feelings for Emmett grow.
I want to tell him how I feel, but I’m so damn afraid. Not that he would reject me, but of how our lives would change. It thrills me to think of being his, kissing him, holding him, having him in every way I want him.
But it also terrifies me because I hate not knowing what's going to happen in the future.
That's why I’ve built my life the way it is. Kept my friend group small, the same job, the same house, everything has been consistent and reliable. No surprises.
Then Emmett has to go and say what he said after I asked himthatquestion. Asked him to never leave my life.
Now I know I’m in love with this man, and it terrifies me.
To go from years of living alone in Widows Peak, happy and content, to meeting someone who quickly became my whole life.
I’ve never allowed myself to think about a future with another person or to be in a relationship, because that would require trust and feeling safe with that person.
Emmett is the only person, apart from my sister, that I’ve felt completely comfortable and safe around. The idea of being this way with someone else doesn't even cross my mind.
But maybe, just maybe, I can have the future I never allowed myself to dream of. I don’t need Alphas. I’d have Emmett, and he’s more than enough.
It’s not just me I have to think about, though. He’s still so young; he has his whole life ahead of him.
I can’t help but feel like I’m holding him back. Maybe if his life wasn’t so tightly entwined with mine, he’d allow himself to want for more.
He could have it all. A pack, a life where he can see the world, and be happy.
I can’t offer him that. I’m too fucked up from my past to even leave Widows Peak. The furthest I’ve been is to a town an hour away. Otherwise, I haven’t been anywhere else apart from Gideon’s hellhole since I was eighteen.
Would I like to see the world? Sure. But I won’t allow myself that because the world is a scary place and I’d rather stay here, where I know I’m safe.
Maybe that’s irrational or over-the-top, but when you’ve lived the life I have, being snatched away in the middle of the night and held against your will for three years? Only to be prepped to be the perfect sex slave for fucked up Alphas? Yeah, it’s not so easy to overcome.
I admire the other girls and even Silva for how strong they are, but that's not me. I didn’t even think I’d live this long.
To think I could have a sliver of something more has me afraid that once I have it, it could all be taken away. I’ve seen how cruel life can be. I know it’s possible.
My head spins as I sit up in bed. It takes me a moment to remember I’m not home, but at the cabin.
Emmett’s familiar maple scent surrounds me, and I smile, biting my lower lip as I bring the blankets up and inhale like a creeper.
“You’re up.” His voice makes me jump. I fling the blanket like it’s on fire and stare up at him with wide eyes. He just chuckles, amused.
“Yeah, just woke up.” My heart races as I rub at my eyes, trying to ignore the fact that I was caught sniffing his damn blanket.
“You want pancakes or eggs and toast?"
