But she shook her head fiercely. “It doesn’t matter what you did. It only matters what you do now.” Her eyes turned pleading. “Our pasts can’t define us, Jordan. They can’t.” Her use of his first name without any annoyance or bitterness was something he was still getting used to. “They can’t,” she repeated, her voice a fading whisper.
He watched in horror as tears rippled down her face.
On impulse, he raised his hand to cup her cheek, the pad of his thumb tracing the soft skin under her eye to catch any tears before they fell. “Vanessa.” He managed to get her name out, but then fell silent, instinct telling him there was more to her story than he knew.
“What if this is payback?” Her voice cracked, and her lower lip trembled. A big tear caught on his thumb before rolling along the side to his wrist, tearing through him like a crack in glass.
“For what?” There was no scenario where he could imagine her deserving this kind of retribution.
“For all the mistakes I’ve made.” Her voice was barely audible over the traffic, but it broke him just the same.
“This isn’t payback,” he said, his voice low and laced with a promise. “This is some sick fuck playing games with you, and when I find them, I swear to you, I will make them pay. Every second they’ve made you hurt, every second they’ve caused you to question yourself, I’ll make them regret it.” His eyes locked with hers, the weight of hispromise heavy in the air. “You don’t ever have to feel alone in this again.”
Her quiet nod did little to ease the fist around his heart.
“Take me home,” she said.
Too filled with his own rage to say anything else, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her back home.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“What’s your bike doing here?” Vanessa asked when they arrived in the hallway between their apartments.
“I walked to The Link today,” Jordan answered as he took her purse off her shoulder and dug through it for her key.
For the first time in hours, a small smile spread over her lips. “So you’re a live-in nanny for Nigel now?” She held her breath as she watched him.
Jordan hesitated with her key in the lock. He stared at the doorknob a beat longer than necessary, then unlocked it, the mechanism’s soft click breaking the silence. “He doesn’t like to be alone for too long. It’s easier to stay here.” He pushed the door wide and ushered her in.
“Uh-huh,” she said, shrugging out of her jacket. Maybe that was true, but she couldn’t help noticing that his bike had become ever present in the hallway since the unsettling things had started happening to her. Truth be told, she didn’t mind it. She slept better knowing Jordan was across the hall.
“Well,” she said hesitantly. “I bet he feels much safer knowing you’re here every minute you’re not working.” She peeked at him from under her lashes. That probably gave away more than she intended, but she didn’t know how else to express her gratitude.
Lately, they’d shifted toward something in-between. Tenderness woven through their usual bickering. Which really only meant one thing. Jordan Thompson was becoming harder to resist.
The brief falter in his steps was the only outward sign that he’d caught her double meaning. Which was no surprise, since she was starting to realize how uncomfortable he was with gratitude or praise of any kind.
Trust me, I deserved to be there.
She knew how it felt to be haunted by a past, but no matter how dark Jordan made his sound, she couldn’t believe he had any of that man left in him now. Even at his most annoying, he’d never been anything but reliable around her. The way he was with the kids at The Link… He was more of a father figure than a gangster.
After what appeared to be a quick sweep of her apartment, Jordan planted himself in front of her. “Look, I have my last shift at Silk tonight, so I won’t be home until after 2 a.m. Do you want to call a friend to come stay with you?”
“Your last shift at Silk?” He’d become the signature grumpy-assed bouncer at the front door. She couldn’t imagine him not working there.
Jordan shrugged. “Between working for Joel, The Link, and helping Sean with the gym, I don’t have any hours to give Max anymore.” He eyed her wearily. “That said, if you ever decide you need to let loose at a club again, please God, let me know, Vanessa, and I’ll go with you.”
She couldn’t help but smirk. “You’ll go dancing with me?”
A half-smile quirked his lips. “Well, I can’t have you kissing random men to get out of tricky situations all the time, can I?” He dipped his chin and caught her eye. “Doyou want me to call someone to come stay with you tonight?”
Oh no. When he looked at her like that, with care, and concern, and a twinkle, it went straight to her heart. She swallowed and shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I’ll, um, lock the door.”
“I’m coming with you to The Link tomorrow. I’ll knock on your door at nine.” He stared at her like he was fighting something with everything he had. After a beat, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, lingering a second longer than necessary.
Then he strode out her front door, leaving it wide open. She barely had time to register his absence when he returned with Nigel in hand.
“Your bodyguard for the evening, Miss Barone.” He transferred the wide-eyed bunny to her arms. “He’s surprisingly good at alerting me to noise outside doors. He’ll race over to you if he hears anything.”
