“There’s no one there,” he reassured her as they continued toward the Broadway Bridge.
She snuck another peek behind her, then tucked herself back against his arm. He tried and failed to ignore how well she fit beside him.
“We weren’t followed, and there was no one around when we left.”
“How would you know? I didn’t see you check.”
His gaze swept over her. She was bundled in a thick but stylish jacket the color of a winter moon. Her hair floated softly over her ears. Was it enough to keep them warm, or should he offer her his beanie? Would she wear it?
“I’m always checking. You just don’t notice,” he said truthfully. Over the years he’d developed an acute awareness of his surroundings. Shifts in the air, footsteps, sounds. He followed his instincts. Staying vigilant had saved his life more than once.
Vanessa shot him a wary side-eye, and he clenched his jaw. He didn’t talk about his past. The fact that he’d been a criminal wasn’t a secret, but it wasn’t something he was proud of. Besides, she’d disliked him enough simply for existing, so she knew little about his…history.
But as her look lingered, he had a gnawing sense that it was time to change that.
“In prison, you have to watch your back twenty-four-seven.” He exhaled slowly, weighing the least awful way to explain the darkness he’d experienced. “There is no safe zone, except maybe your cell, but even then?—”
The echo of the screams he’d hear at night, when men were supposed to be alone in their cells, flashed through his mind. He blinked hard, forcing back the memories.
“You can’t make it obvious that you’re checking over your shoulder. If you do, you’re marked. Weakness doesn’tlast long in prison.” He paused, jaw tight. Fuck, he hated going back to that shit. “I learned to be inconspicuous. That’s how I stayed alive.”
It was more than he’d ever told anyone about his time locked up. Even Sean didn’t know much. If his brother was curious about Jordan’s life inside, he never asked, and Jordan sure as hell never volunteered a word. The whole damn reason he’d ended up in jail was to protect his brother. Why would he burden Sean with all the details of what it was like in there?
He glanced at Vanessa, but she didn’t appear horrified as he’d expected. Instead, she clung to his bicep with both hands as they continued walking, her gaze set on the street ahead of them.
“I can’t imagine how awful that must have been,” she murmured.
“Trust me, I deserved to be there.” He didn’t want her sympathy. Sure, he’d ended up in jail to protect his brother, but that didn’t make him a damn hero. He’d done enough fucked-up shit in his life to deserve twice the time he’d served. He was no saint or savior, just a man buried under the weight of the choices he’d made.
“Before I was sentenced, I was in a gang,” he heard himself say bluntly.
When she didn’t flinch, he kept talking.
“Sean and I grew up in Chicago. Dad died when we were kids, and Mom moved us to a cheaper neighborhood she could afford on her own. I was always a troublemaker, always in the wrong crowd. Hated school, hated rules, missed my dad.” He’d never said that out loud before, and he rolled his lips together, letting the words sink in.
Vanessa remained silent, and they started across the Broadway Bridge. Of all the bridges that crossed theWillamette, this one was his favorite. Maybe because of the orange-red color that set it apart. Or maybe because it was the fastest route to Vanessa’s. He couldn’t really say.
“Is that why you joined a gang?” She tipped her face up to him, her nose and cheeks pink from the cold, her long hair falling around her shoulders like a veil. She was so beautiful, it sometimes took his breath away.
“The neighborhood we moved to wasn’t amazing.” He didn’t love that she was seeing all of his darkness, but he did love how safe he felt talking about it with her. “The guys I thought were cool ended up being criminals, but I was a teenager, and I wanted to find my place. They made me feel like I belonged, offered me a brotherhood when I was lonely, and told me I was family. By the time I realized how wrong I’d been to trust them, it was too late. I was in.”
She curled closer to him but averted her gaze. He hoped what he’d told her didn’t change her opinion of him, not that it was very high to begin with.
After a few minutes in silence, Vanessa slowed her steps as she guided them to the bridge’s rail. She gazed out over the water. “Look how the moon shines over the river. It’s so beautiful.”
The moon was huge. Round, white, and low in the sky.
He’d seen it earlier as they were walking, but it wasn’t what he was looking at now. His stare remained fixed on her profile, the slope of her jaw, the softness of her skin, and her plump, fucking irresistible lips. “Yeah,” he murmured as he watched her. “An absolute stunner.”
“The supermoon,” she said. “They talked about it on the radio this morning.” She blew out a stream of air, and it puffed out around them. “It looks close enough to touch. Imagine if we could.”
Hell, his entire being wanted her, and the more shespoke, the more time he spent with her, the harder it was to ignore.
“Vanessa—”
“I don’t care what you did.” She whirled on him, cutting him off, indignant fire in her eyes.
“You should,” he warned her. If she only knew half of it.
