Sean’s gaze narrowed as it met his brother’s.
“Do you think you fooled anyone out there?” Jordan pointed at the door and the hallway behind it. “All that shit about protecting her from your dangerous big brother. Yeah, I heard you.”
Sean hung his head, shame devouring him as his words came back to kick his ass.
“But you’re not worried about protecting her from me. You’re worried about protecting her fromyou. Because you’ve spent a shit ton of years in a prison of your own making, letting the devil tell you that you’re something you’re not. You’re notme, Sean. You’re this guy—” Jordan gestured to the room around them, a room full of evidence of years of hard work and determination. “You’re the guy who used his brains to find a wayoutand made something of himself. That’s who you are.”
Moisture pricked at Sean’s eyes, hot and stinging.
“And okay, you weren’t all wrong getting mad in the hallway. I’d keep me away from the girlfriend if I were you, too. I get it. I know it. I fucked with my future, but I wasn’t going to let you fuck with yours.” Jordan walked up to Sean, and clapped him on the shoulder, holding his hand there. “I’m still your big brother. It was my job to protect you. Not the other way around. I shoved you out of that car because I wanted you to get away. The only thing that got me through doing my time was knowing you were free to live your life the way you were meant to.” He dropped his hand back to his side.
Sean swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying to get a grip on the storm inside him. “I owe you my life, but I have no idea where to start making it up to you. No idea how the fuck I was supposed to give you back the years you lost in prison for me.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” Jordan shuffled from one foot to the other, his gaze darting to Sean’s, then back to the floor. “But I am going to ask you for something, anyway.”
“Anything,” Sean said without hesitation.
“I want another chance. I’m not that deadbeat from the old neighborhood anymore. Prison—” A shadow dropping over Jordan’s eyes as his throat worked. “I’m never going back there. I want a real future. And I want you to be part of it.”
Sean moved before Jordan finished speaking. He didn’t care if it weirded Jordan out. Didn’t care if they hadn’t touched each other in almost a decade. He wrapped his arms around the only family he had left and held tight. “You’re my brother. No way I’m making a future without you. Fuck, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you sooner.”
Jordan thumped him on the back, almost knocking the wind out of him and reminding Sean how strong his brother was. As far as hugs went, it was awkward as hell, but he relished it. He had his brother here in one piece. His big brother who’d protected him and saved his life. There was nothing more in life he could ask for. Except—
“Ivy.”
“Yeah,” Jordan agreed, breaking their hug. “You fucked up with her big time.”
It was eerie that even though they hadn’t had any kind of relationship in a decade, his brother could still read his mind.
“You should go grovel,” Jordan advised.
Ivy deserved more than groveling. She deserved everything. He had to come up with something, and fast, before he found himself in her rearview forever.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
Ivy had been sitting in her nana’s rocking chair for a full day and a half, staring out the bay window in the sunroom, drinking copious amounts of Earl Grey tea, and eating more fresh baked scones than she had any right to consume.
She’d come here to give Sean and his brother space to talk things out. And also because she’d needed a hot minute to sort through her own emotions after everything that had happened in the hallway.
Once she’d made the decision to go, it hadn’t taken long to make a few phone calls, set up a locum for her clinic, pack a bag and drive the three hours north to her nana’s house in Bellevue, Washington. Space had seemed appropriate when everything was still fresh and raw.
But maybe distance did make the heart grow fonder, because now that she was here all she’d done was rock in the damn chair and long for Sean. The heartache was unbearable.
And the view outside the bay window matched her mood. In the spring, Nana’s yard was lush with color from the rhododendrons, azaleas, and hydrangeas, but now, in autumn, it was devoid of brightness. On a day like today, when the incessant rain made the gloom even darker, only the auburn tinted bushes brought life to the world outside.
The dreariness seeped into her core. Confusion, regret, frustration, it was all hitting her. She had so many questions for Sean, and she was trying her damnedest not to jump to conclusions. Had he lied to her about everything all this time? Why hadn’t he told her the truth about his past? Didn’t he trust her? What really happened the night Jordan got arrested?
Her dizzying cycle of unhappy thoughts were interrupted by the squeaking sounds of the tea cart coming down the hallway. Seconds later, her nana appeared with another serving of steaming tea.
Nana hadn’t asked much about Ivy’s unscheduled visit. She’d simply proceeded to make pot after pot of tea, and waited until Ivy was ready to talk. Which is what she’d done all of Ivy’s life.
Most of the time, it didn’t take long before Ivy was blubbering all her despair over a perfectly brewed cup of Earl Grey and a homemade cinnamon sugared scone. But this time, she hadn’t done much talking. And it wasn’t fair to blow out as quickly as she’d blown in, without a word as to why.
With a sigh of resignation, Ivy recognized that she owed her nana an explanation for her sudden, unexpected visit. “I’m sorry, Nana. Come on, I’ll help you with this.”
She got up to take over pushing the cart into the living room, before returning to her place in the rocker.
Nana took a seat on the Victorian chaise beside her. She was in her early 80s but had better posture than a ballerina in her 20s. She sat ramrod straight, hands folded neatly on her lap. The cart sat neatly beside her, the steam from the teapot rising between them.
