A panic attack was not supposed to be on the menu tonight. Tonight was for him. Her gift to him. The one thing she could give him. What good was a friend with benefits if there were no benefits? Or if she had a panic attack every time the benefits started rolling. Or if the benefits meant she had to be in control every single time.
Her heart sped to keep pace with the runaway thoughts in her mind. And then suddenly, there was light.
A flicker, and she saw Sean’s face in the candlelight. He set three wide, stubby candles on the dresser, then moved to light two tea lights which he placed on the nightstands on either side of the bed.
“You really love your candles, don’t you?” she said, immediately soothed by the soft dance of light in the darkness.
“I look better in candlelight,” he deadpanned. When he was done, he stood at the foot of the bed, holding her gaze steadily as he removed his shirt. He continued to watch her as he dropped it on the ground. His pants and briefs followed suit quickly.
Ivy swallowed. God, he was impressive. And hell yes, he looked amazing by candlelight. Although, really, six-packs tended to look good under any light.
“Do you want to take off your clothes, Ivy?” He stood in front of her, completely naked and fully aroused. In the shadows, his face was dark, but his eyes sparkled as they stayed trained on her.
“I want you to do it.” She surprised herself by saying this, not because it wasn’t true, but because she’d never imagined a day where she’d be okay with someone removing her clothes.
Then again, she’d never imagined someone like Sean.
He nodded, and came forward, kneeling on the bed as he grabbed her foot and pulled off a sock. Then moved to do the same on her other foot. He leaned over farther and unbuttoned the top of her jeans. When she inhaled sharply, he paused, found her eyes, and bent to kiss her, slow and deep, bringing her right into the present again. The moment where all she could do was taste and feel and smell only him.
“Stay with me,” he whispered. “Watch what I’m doing.”
And she did, mesmerized as his long fingers unzipped her jeans and deftly tugged them off.
“Sit up,” he said.
She did as he asked.
“Lift your arms. Don’t take your eyes off me.”
She lifted both arms above her head. His hands came to the hem of her shirt, and she gasped at the soft touch of his fingers against her midriff. Liquid heat shot right to her core, and moisture pooled between her thighs.
All things considered, he was being very mechanical with his movements. No sweet caresses, or even a passionate tearing of panties. It wasn’t necessarily erotic or sexy. He was simply removing her clothes, as she’d asked him to do, and yet she’d never been more turned on in her life.
He paused at her gasp, his fingers stilling on the hem. He watched her carefully, searching her eyes. Ivy tried to close her mouth and failed. Was it normal that she was seconds away from panting? She wanted him to touch her so badly, she was ready to tear her own shirt off herself, but this was for him. She wanted him to have control tonight.
So she remained still, her mouth parted slightly as she inhaled again, holding his gaze as he’d requested.
A few pounding heartbeats later, he continued, pulling her shirt up and over her head. She was now sitting in her bra and panties, willing him to move faster. Finally, he reached around her and unclasped her bra. It got tossed over his shoulder with the rest of her clothing, but her panties stayed on.
“Lie back.” Sean gestured to the bed, and she scooted back until she could lie down, her head sinking into the pillows. Sean followed, coming up beside her.
He kissed her mouth, her cheeks, and forehead like it was a reward for good behavior, and Ivy released a sigh of satisfaction.
“You’re perfect,” he murmured against her skin before he trailed kisses all the way down the side of her neck and across her collarbone.
Okay, that was it, cue panting. Breath raced in and out of Ivy’s lungs like she’d come back from a run.
“What do you like, Ivy?” His baritone rumbled through the haze of her lust like a drug, but she was already too lost in the sea of a desire his touch ignited that she couldn’t focus on it.
Her skin was alive with sensation, the wet trail of his tongue leaving her cool and tingling. When he pulled his head up, she whimpered. Whimpered! Who was she?
“Answer me, sweetheart. What do you like? What don’t you like? What turns you on? What turns you off? I need to know.”
Realizing that she’d have to provide an answer if she wanted more of what was happening, she tried to regulate her breathing by taking a shaky breath, then told him the truth. “I don’t know.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You don’t know what you like and don’t like.”
“It’s been a while before you.” Her face heated at the admission of her inexperience, killing the desire a bit. “And before that, the last time, well… Nothing was good. So, I don’t know.”
