The past few weeks of co-parenting, since he’d blown it with Siobhan, had been hell on Brian’s nerves. Not the actual parenting together, but the way it forced him to see and talk to Siobhan as she iced him out was tearing him apart.
Not icing him out, he thought. He’d seen her be cold and this wasn’t that. She was hurting herself, too, and it didn’t make sense to him. They could have been happy together.
They were actually doing okay with the co-parenting, so far. The second sleepover had gone very well, and he’d only had to call his mother three times. Andhad towas a stretch. He would have been fine without her advice, but getting it comforted him and giving it made her happy.
Siobhan hadn’t brought Oliver to their meeting with the judge and there had been no ice cream after. She’d felt bad, though it was unavoidable due to her schedule, and he’d chosen not to let his disappointment dim the relief and joy at having the legalities done. He smiled and assured her he’d have ice cream with Oliver to celebrate next time he had him, but parting ways with Siobhan in front of the courthouse had hurt.
The next weekend, Brian had been at the campground. Though he wanted to spend as much time as possible withOliver, he knew that as a busy working mom, Siobhan treasured her weekends with him. He wouldn’t take them all.
And last weekend, they’d met at the store halfway between their homes, transferring Oliver and what he needed for two days from her car to his truck. Oliver had been a little hesitant about this new arrangement, but Brian had brought Stella with him and she won over her favorite small human.
Could they continue on this way? Yes, they could. They both loved Oliver and put him first. The boy was happy and that was the real bottom line.
But did hewantto? Absolutely not. He missed Siobhan so much it hurt. Even when they were standing ten feet from each other, he missed her. There was Oliver’s mom Siobhan, and then there washisSiobhan—the funny, smart and captivating woman who laughed and kissed him under the fairy lights.
They’d be arriving at the campground anytime—Siobhan, Oliver, and Robin—to celebrate Oliver’s second birthday with his family. Rob and Hannah had moved into the house, where they’d be spending the winter, so Siobhan could stay in the camper they’d been using before they winterized it. She’d assured Brian’s mom Robin wouldn’t mind sleeping on the folded-down dinette.
Most of the conversation about the party had taken place between his mom and Siobhan, without him. He wasn’t sure if that was for practical reasons—why involve him when he didn’t have any idea how to throw a toddler’s birthday party?—or if it was Siobhan keeping him at arm’s length.
Now he was in the store’s supply closet, trying to find the box of paper goods his mother had shipped directly from the online store amid all the other delivery boxes thathad shown up over the last week. When the bell over the door chimed, letting him know somebody had entered, he assumed it was his mother, out of patience with him and about to find the box herself.
“I can’t move any faster,” he called.
“That’s strange because it looks like you’re standing still.”
It was his dad, and he backed out of the closet. “Sorry. I was expecting Mom.”
“I’m sure she’ll be along, but I thought you and I could use a few minutes to talk.”
“Whatever it is, Bobby did it.”
He chuckled. “Probably. But what’s going on withyou?”
“What do you mean? I’m getting stuff ready for the party.”
“You were happy for a while, but something changed. With the legal business settled and Oliver getting to spend time with you, you should bemorehappy, notlesshappy.”
“Siobhan and I, we…complicated things.”
“Do you want us all to pretend we couldn’t see that happening?”
“Yes.” He snorted. “Anyway, the night she stayed over—Oliver’s first sleepover—we…escalated the complications, so to speak. The next morning, she was talking about not being able to miss any more work or she’d lose her job and I said they should just move in with me and she just sort of shut down. We’re co-parenting and that’s all it’s going to be.”
“And you thought it was more?”
Brian’s emotional walls crumbled under the force of his father’s understanding, and he let the flood of sorrow and hurt in. “Ihopedit was more.”
When his dad reached out and grabbed his arm, Brian let himself be pulled into the embrace. It was a short hug,but it felt good and it helped. But when his dad pulled back and pointed at the leather chairs, he knew there was more coming.
Once he was seated, his dad went to the refrigerator case and grabbed two bottles of water. On his way to the chairs, he locked the back door so they wouldn’t be interrupted—as if Lisa Kowalski wouldn’t lay into that doorbell if she wanted her grandson’s birthday napkins. Brian knew he should get up and write down the two bottles of water so they could be accounted for, but he didn’t have the strength right now.
“Tell me what’s going on, son,” his dad said as he handed him one of the bottles and sat down across from him.
Brian told him everything. It came out a rambling mess because that’s how it all felt in his head, but the gist of it was that he’d fallen for the mother of his child and managed to mess it all up in the process.
“And she accused me of wanting an instant family,” he said when he’d gotten it all out. “Does she have a point? I don’t know how to convince her that’s not how I feel.”
“You can’t separate the woman from the mother. There are no boxes you uncheck or things you can cross off to see if you’d still feel this way about Siobhan if there was no Oliver and she’d just shown up here to be Steph’s maid of honor. I mean, before the wedding I was led to believe you didn’t even like her.”
