Was the wording deliberate? She hadn’t asked howtheywere doing or how he was handling things, but wanted to know specifically how Oliver was.
He’s good. We finished eating and now he’s telling Stella about all the kids at his school. He’s told me several timesthat he’s sleeping here tonight and will see you tomorrow, so he’s reassuring himself.
Only a few seconds passed before the dots flashed to indicate she was typing, and then her response came through.
Okay. I’m not sure if hearing my voice would make it better or worse, so I’ll leave it alone. But call me if he needs me.
I will.
And that was it. No more dots and no reply.
The next morning, he and Oliver were both a little out of sorts. Oliver had gone to bed alright, but Brian had tossed and turned, staring at the ceiling, and trying not to think about Siobhan being in this bed with him last night.
Maybe, if he’d kept his mouth shut, she’d be with him tonight. His mother used to tell him he was the most guarded of her boys because he was the opposite when he was little. He’d shared pretty much every thought and emotion in his head, but they were often used against him and he’d learned not to share.
Clearly, Siobhan had gotten through those defenses and here he was again.
Then, about two in the morning, Brian had awakened to Oliver calling for his mommy. He hadn’t wanted daddy at all, but eventually he’d calmed down. Brian let Stella in the room to help Oliver feel better, and eventually he’d gone back to sleep.
There was oatmeal for breakfast and then a short visit from his grandparents. They’d managed to distract Oliveruntil it was almost time to leave, and Brian was grateful. He knew Oliver would adapt and get used to this new reality, but right now he felt guilty for changing up the boy’s life. Even though he was handling it better than Brian expected, it was a tough age for a change in routine.
By the time they pulled into the parking lot of the store where they were meeting Siobhan, Brian was exhausted. He treasured the time he spent with his son, but his regret that he’d screwed things up so badly with Siobhan was turning him inside out. He’d thrown his own bags on the front passenger seat with Oliver’s, and when they were done here, he and Stella were going to head straight north to the campground. He needed to be outside, doing hard work and sweating out the feelings he had no other outlet for.
“Mommy!”
Siobhan was leaning against the trunk of her car, and she offered up a huge smile and wave when she saw Brian’s truck. Of course that was for Oliver, Brian told himself, but it still took his breath away.
He got Oliver’s bags out of the truck while Siobhan freed her son from the car seat and covered his face in kisses. Oliver talked as fast as his little mouth could make words, telling her about the yard and Sean and the nuggets and he made it sound like he’d had the time of his life.
Since Siobhan had chosen a store parking lot and not a restaurant or a park, there was nothing to do but leave. He put Stella on the leash she hated and let her wander on the grass separating them from the next parking lot over, and then he brought her over to say goodbye to Oliver. The little boy hugged her, getting some kisses in return, and then Brian opened the door so she could get back in the truck.
Siobhan had Oliver buckled into the car, but she stepped back so Brian could lean in and give him a goodbye kiss. “I’ll see you soon, little man.”
“Bye, Daddy.”
His heart squeezed in his chest, and he ruffled his son’s hair before closing the door. Then, as he turned to face Siobhan, he reminded himself very sternly that he wasn’t going to put his emotions on her again.
“He did good,” he said in a remarkably steady voice. “He woke up in the night and was a little confused because you weren’t there, but he calmed down and Stella helped. He went back to sleep pretty quickly, so I didn’t see any reason to wake you up.”
“It’ll get easier.” She gave him a shadow of a smile. “For everybody.”
“Yeah. If I don’t talk to you before then, I’ll meet you at the courthouse, I guess.”
“Brian, I’m sorry.” She crossed her arms over her chest, tears shimmering in her eyes. “It’s a lot and I’m scared and I handled it badly.”
He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her until that tremor in her voice went away. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but he couldn’t pour out his feelings in this parking lot when she was about to get on the highway with their son. This was neither the time nor the place, and he couldn’t do it.
“We’re good,” he said, knowing it wasn’t enough.
She nodded slowly and when she realized he wasn’t going to say more, she sighed. “I should get going. He gets bored in his car seat.”
“Drive safe.”
He turned away before he could change his mind—before he could back her up against the side of his truckand kiss her until she admitted that she felt the same way he did—and slid into the driver’s seat. Stella whimpered, giving him an accusing look.
“You’ll see him again soon,” Brian promised as he buckled his seat belt. “Now, let’s go split some firewood.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
