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“To Lou or to you?”

Chet tipped his beer in her direction, “Touché.”

They sipped companionably for a moment before Sally looked over at him with her thinking eyes.

“Hey, Chet?”

“Hm?” He turned to meet her gaze, his big brown puppy-dog eyes settling quietly on her sky-blues.

“Thanks.”

He reached up and tapped the brim of his ten-gallon. “Yer quite welcome, Sally darlin’.”

***

CUNTS TRANSMISSION 1.781.230

Sender: Milky Way Galaxy, Planet Designation: EARTH

Recipient: Andromeda Galaxy, Planet Designation: WLN269

Hi Xenoth,

We’ve been talkin’ for a while now. For weeks, in fact. Forgive me if this is blunt, but why have you not asked me to join you on your planet?

It seems to me that your continued experiments would be much easier to perform if you had a live subject to provide additional DNA samples, wouldn’t it? Or to test the synthetic pheromone applicators you mentioned?

I only wonder because I’ve received quite a few invitations from males to join them planet-side, but none from you. Not that I’ve expected one, mind you, I’m just curious.

I’ve been considering a few of the invites, but while I think physical companionship with these other fellas could be a real interestin’ experience, none of them have really held my attention. You, though, are really sweet and I’ve enjoyedlearning about your people and history far more than I ever expected. (History has never really been my strong suit.)

Just to be extra clear in case this don’t translate correct-like, I am askin’ if you find me attractive, or would be open to any sort of physical intercourse. Meaning sex. Or coitus. Or whatever it is your people call it when you pleasure one another. I’m probably jumping into that questions little abruptly, but I’ve been fielding it from so many other males on here, I thought I should make it clear that it’s ok if you wanted to talk to me about it, since you seem a little shy maybe, given the weeks we’ve been talking, and I know you’ve told me your culture is matriarchal, so I just wanted it to be extra clear that I’m ok with you bringing it up.

Mind you, I ain’t pushin’ or nothin’—if you’re not interested in intercourse, or in having me closer, or if you’re only interested in being colleagues that’s fine! I just figured I’d let you know I was open to the possibility of more than just long-distance pen pals. I know I mentioned the experiments and all, but it would be nice to get to know you in person, I think. As a friend. If you wanted. But again, no pressure, it’s just an option!

And if you’re not interested in hosting me on-planet yourself, but would still like to work together, maybe I could accept a proposal from another guy and you and I could continue to work together while I’m there with them? What do you think?

Ok, I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night.

Your Maybe-More-Than-A-Friend,

Sally

PS, just in case you ain’t sure if you’re into the physical stuff with me, here’s some photos to help you make up your mind. I figured it was only fair to send some since I’m constantly gettin’bombarded with alien genitalia, and you may not know what a nekkid human looks like.

???

GETTING PHYSICAL, PHYSICAL!

Xenoth waited more than impatiently for the images from Sally to load. His kropek were fuzzed with irritation at the slow data transfer, every emotion under the suns racing through his coloring.

She wanted to get physical with him.

Or, she was open to the option.

He couldn’t believe his ocular receptors as he re-read the letter. It didn’t seem possible. His eyes paused on the line about her accepting a proposal from one of the other males on the planet and a low growl erupted out of his chest, surprising him.

The first image loaded another fraction.