“And then you found someone who tickles yer funny bone?” Chet gave her grin the size of Texarkana.
“I…well…sorta? I mean, yes? He just…I mean it ain’t evensexual!” Sally’s hands flapped up in the air.
Chet’s brow furrowed, “Ain’t it?”
Sally flushed all over again. “Ok well it is, sorta, but we just talk. Alot. About everything. He’sfascinatin’. His culture iswild—I still don’t think I understand even a third of it. And he’s…well he’s…just…beautiful.”
She mumbled to a stop, feeling like a teenager with a crush.
“So hedoesrev yer motor some?”
Sally snorted, “Now you just sound like Lou.”
“Wellll she’s rubbed off on me some.”
Sally gave him a knowing look. “I see that double entendre and I ain’t fallin’ for it.”
They both fell into a pleasant silence, Chet laughing into his beer.
“What if…” Sally paused, staring down at her jeans, not wanting to ask the question that had been plaguing her for weeks. “What if I get up there and he…doesn’t like me…?”
Chet looked over at her. “You mean like, will they let you come home?”
Sally shook her head, “No, no, there’s policies for that.”
Chet sat up slightly, leaning in Sally’s direction. “Sal, does the guy have eyes?”
Sally frowned. “Yes?”
“Does he have a penis or whatever the equivalent is?”
Sally rolled her eyes. “Mostly yes.”
“I’m real curious about that ‘mostly’, but I’m gonna put a pin in that for a sec. Last question: Does he enjoy females sexually?”
Sally flushed. “I actually don’t know, but I’m assumin’ yes since they’re kinda vital to his peoples’ equilibrium or whatever.”
“You could always ask.”
Sally shifted uncomfortably at that thought. She was always being told she was too direct, usually by guys…as they broke up with her.
“He’s gonna like you, Sal.”
Sally’s eyes didn’t meet his. “Earth guys don’t.”
“Earth guys are idiots.”
“Doesn’t change the facts any.Youdidn’t like me none. You went straight for Lou, didn’t even look in my direction!”
“Now, hold on, let’s assess the facts here. Firstly, if you’ll recall, you and I met by makin’ out in a bar on New Year’s. Secondly, it was shortlyafterthat kiss that I watched Lou beat the shit out of a man who grabbed her ass without permission.That’swhen I fell in love. Had nothin’ to do with whether I did or did not find you sexually or emotionally interestin’.”
Sally flushed. “I must admit, I actually did forget about that kiss.”
“Wheewwww!” Chet put a hand to his heart, making a dramatic face. “Way to ruin a man’s confidence, Sal!”
She grinned slowly. “Yeah, well, I guess I owe you one.”
“You just keep sendin’ Lou those alien dick pics when you get into space and we’ll call it even.”
