I realize the gravity of my request—turning over your DNA to a stranger from another galaxy must seem like an enormous breech in conduct, but it is the only way for me to determine whether or not human females can become a replacement for Z'arthaxian females, or if your people might at least act as a temporary servicing element with synthesized fluids until a fewof my people are far enough along in their life-cycles that they are ready to transition.
Honorable Z’Sally, these are all that is left of my people. I…hope…that you might be a way to save them, but I do not know for sure. Will you help us by assisting me in discovering this determination?
I shall await your reply as you consider my suit.
Yours With Extreme Respect,
Zah Xenoth
Leader of Domicile 88
***
H.E.L.P.
Sally put her phone down.
“Holy shit,” she breathed, before re-reading the message to make sure she hadn’t misunderstood anything.
She opened a browser tab on her phone and loaded the home page for H.E.L.P, skipping quickly to their ‘about’ section. She read:
‘The Human-Extraterrestrial Liaison Programis an intergalactic planetary exchange between Earth and WLN269. This program was developed in the hopes of assisting the surviving males of the Andromeda galaxy in finding females for procreation and/or companionship, depending on their specific species needs.’
Sally put her phone down again, staring blankly at the performance and competition travel schedules laid out on the table in front of her.
It had been roughly a month since she’d first opened her profile on the H.E.L.P. page. She’d read throughhundredsof messages from the males of planet WLN269. And she’d responded to more than a few.
Though she’d never admit it to Lou, she’d been having a mighty fine time sexting with the various non-humans in her inbox. She’d seen a truly astonishing variety of ‘mating paraphernalia’—which she had appropriately (or inappropriately) shared with her friends—and truth be told, her orgasms had been so good from the fantasies, Sally was only mad she hadn’t realized she was into being a U-F-Ho sooner!
But this message from Zah Xenoth was different.
Sally hadn’t truly thought about the fact that every message she received was from a survivor. Someone who’d seen their entiregalaxywiped out; their friends and families justgone.
It made her think about all of the breeding requests in a different light. Not that she was interested in breeding at all, nothankyou, but it made her think a little more gently on the awkward directness of many of the messages.
She thought about Zah Xenoth’s message all day.
She thought about it while she put Mr. Socks through his paces with Tracy, and while she helped oil Tracy’s saddle afterwards. She was so contemplative that more than one of her fellow rodeo workers asked who put the burr under her blanket or up her britches.
Sally rolled her eyes and ignored them, though she could feel their gazes on her throughout the day.
It irked her.
She messaged Zah Xenoth back later that night, just a short affirmative that she would help with his request, and then she reached out to the H.E.L.P. people to find out how to send in a DNA sample. Three days later she sent the completed sample kit back per their instructions.
And then she reached out to Zah Xenoth again.
???
CUNTS TRANSMISSION 1.778.764
Sender: Milky Way Galaxy, Planet Designation: EARTH
Recipient: Andromeda Galaxy, Planet Designation: WLN269
Howdy Zah Xenoth!
(That’s ‘pleasant greetings’ where I come from.)
