“Because I love you,” Enoch said matter-of-factly. “And I’m not going to lose you.Again.”
I sighed, loudly, and narrowly avoided trying to claw at the most recent cuts to my thigh.
“You don’t think were, I don’t know, moving too quickly? I mean, not that we’re, like, together or anything…I just mean, after everything I’ve shared, aren’t you even a little bit concerned that you just kissed a murderer? Or that you don’t know everything I’ve done? I could…I could be a serial killer for all you know.”
“Too quickly for who?” I shrugged, avoiding looking directly at him. “There’s no timeline here, but whatever feels right to us. I know we just kissed, and yes I know that I kissed someone whowas forced to take someone else’s life, but there’s no pressure here, either, Shy. I’m not going to try anything, hell, I’m not even expecting you to ever kiss me again. We’ve slept in the same bed many times before. There’s nothing wrong with doing that tonight. It’s not a marriage contract. It’s just sleep, Shy.”
I rolled my eyes and gasped as his hand tipped my chin up to meet his eyes.
“So, bed or couch?”
I grumbled in my chest with another eyeroll. “Fine. The bed would be nice.”
He grinned, giving me a quick peck on the forehead before climbing off of me.
“Let me make sure the house is all locked up. You can do whatever you need to do to get ready for bed. There’s a spare toothbrush in the middle drawer in my bathroom. And if you want to shower there’s fresh towels in the hall closet. Wait, are you hungry?”
I shook my head, grasping the hand he held out to me, and allowed him to pull me to stand.
I made my way back to his bedroom, easily finding the spare toothbrush as he said in the bathroom drawer. I tried not to overthink as I brushed my teeth. It wasn’t easy knowing Enoch could read me, read my intentions of self-harming to cope. Or the fact that I might have been planning to take my life tonight.
And as strange as it was to spend the night with him after so much time apart, it felt incredibly normal. A glimpse of what life could’ve looked like if we had grown together the last few years.
I startled as I found him standing behind me in the mirror.
“Sorry,” he said, gently squeezing my hip. “Are you comfortable in what you’re wearing?”
I looked at my outfit in the mirror and internally groaned. I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt beneath my hoodie, and I wasn’t ready for him to see my skin when it was still healing frommy accident, and I didn’t know what my arm looked like after my stint in the bathroom.
“Can I borrow a long-sleeved shirt and some pajama pants?”
“Of course,” he smiled. “Left middle drawer in my dresser. Pick anything you like.”
I nodded, bending to rinse my mouth in the sink. I left him to brush his teeth and stepped into his bedroom. The drawer was filled with options, and I grabbed the first things I touched.
“I’m just gonna change real quick in your closet,” I called out.
“Okay.”
I closed myself in his walk-in closet, taking a moment to peruse his hanging clothes and objects stacked on the shelves. Once I’d removed my top, I ran my fingers over the red marks I’d left on my shoulder. I clenched my jaw, taking a steadying breath before shucking my bra and putting on his shirt. I changed into a pair of dark grey sweats before I folded my clothes and opened the closet door. Enoch was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked up at me.
His eyes scanned me head to toe with a small smile before he caught my eyes again.
“Do you need to charge your phone?”
I shook my head, afraid I might inadvertently say something to indicate further to Enoch just how far I had gotten with my plan.
Enoch nodded, standing to turn off the overhead light. He closed the door and turned to face me.
“Just closing it to keep the light out. But I can leave it open if you want?”
I shook my head and climbed onto the side of the bed that looked the least used.
The bed jostled as Enoch joined me in the now mostly dark room. Some daylight escaped through the seams of the black-out curtains allowing me to make out the shape of his body.
Enoch laid down with a sigh and rolled onto his side to face me.
I joined him, laying down, my hand tucked beneath my head under the pillow.
