The sound of a dog barking outside filled my lack of response as I focused on releasing each muscle in my body. I let myself sink into the couch, let the soothing tickle of Enoch’s fingers across my skin make my eyes droop.
“Don’t think about me, or Jae, or WITSEC or what happened earlier. Be selfish if that’s what you want to call this, but whatever choice you make right now, let it be fully yours and not influenced by anyone else. Do you want to go? Or do you want me here with you?”
I want you. If I’m selfish and honest, I want you.
“I missed you,” I whispered, my chest aching.
Enoch sagged, releasing my hands to cup my cheek and pull my face to his.
“I missed you, too.”
I hooked my arm around his neck, pulling his body towards mine. He caught himself from crushing me with his hands on the back of the couch, his knees sinking into the cushion. I flipped down onto my back, pulling him with me. He grunted as his body followed mine. Our lips were a breath away. Enoch’s brown eyes studied my own as my heart pounded with fear and anticipation. I knew what I wanted, and by the small uptick of the corner of his mouth, he knew it too.
At last, I closed the distance and let our lips touch. I meant to be gentle and fast, but when Enoch’s lips parted, I couldn’t help myself.
Years. I’d been daydreaming about this moment for years and nothing could compare to the rush of the real thing. The way everything felt right, like the rest of the world had ceased to matter and we were the only thought that consumed every cell in my body.
He tasted like mint and chocolate, and I smile against his mouth.
He adjusted his position, removing the weight of his body off my own.
“No, don’t,” I mumbled against his lips. I used my heels to press into the back of his knees causing him to sink back over me. “I like the pressure.”
He leaned onto one arm, moving a piece of hair out of my face as he stared down at me. “Okay. Just tell me if you can’t breathe.”
I nodded, pulling him by the neck back down to my lips. I focused on the weight of his body, the gentle yet firm pressure of his lips moving with mine, the smell of his cologne.
I needed the reminders that this was real. That I wasn’t making this up in my mind.
Enoch’s hand never strayed from where he had it tucked into the hair at the base of my skull. He never moved his body to gain friction. He simply kissed me, slow and steady. Like that was enough, like the intimacy started and ended here, with no other expectations.
When it finally felt like my lungs couldn’t expand anymore, I gently nudged his shoulder, and he pulled back. His eyes opened and a lazy smile overtook his face.
“What should we do?” he asked.
I licked my lips with a shrug.
“Sleep? Or you want to watch something.”
“Where would I sleep?”
“Well, we could sleep here on the couch, it pulls out to about the size of a queen bed. Or we can sleep in my room.”
My eyes narrowed and he fidgeted with a strand of my hair. “I’m not leaving you to sleep by yourself. I promise no funny business. I’ll stay on my side of the bed if that’s what you want.”
I chewed my lip, thinking it over. The couch was relatively comfortable, but a bed would obviously be more comfortable.
Stop. What the hell are you doing, Shiloh? You should have been at least halfway up a mountain by now.
“Why do you have to sleep in the same room as me? You’re keeping me hostage here, can’t I get some privacy?”
Enoch stared at me for a long, silent pause. “Why do you need privacy unless you’re going to do something that you shouldn’t?”
“Enoch,” I huffed. “I will not be controlled by you.”
“I’m not controlling you, Shy,” Enoch said with a raised brow as he stared down at me. “I’m controlling whether or not you can do something harmful to yourself. And I’m sorry if that sucks, or whatever, but you’ve not given me many reasons here to believe that you don’t already have a plan. Whether that’s to leave Anchorage or leave this world, I haven’t decided, but based on thetext you sent me, based on the fact that I saw you walking, alone, away from your apartment, and you are really freaked out by the fact that I still haven’t let you have your backpack back…I’d say it was the latter.”
I closed my eyes, the sting of tears frustrating me further. “Why are you doing this to me?”
