“Get in, Shiloh,” he said leaning over the console to open the door for me. “Before someone with road rage does something stupid.”
I eyed the traffic he was holding up and bit sharply into my bottom lip. Another car horn blared and with one last glance at his pleading face I slid into the passenger seat.
He pulled away from the curb as I pulled the door shut, putting a hand up in his rearview mirror in silent apology.
“Where were you going?”
I cradled my backpack in my lap as I clicked my seatbelt on to silence the alarm in the car.
“Where wereyougoing?” I countered.
“To your apartment,” he answered.
I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against the head rest.
“You scared me. That text…Are you leaving?”
I absently brushed my fingers over the fresh cuts on my thigh and took a moment to think.
The silence between us was heavy and I discreetly dug my nails into the burning cuts, my backpack blocking his view.
His cologne wafting around me was like a drug and I was already getting high off the scent. Already losing the will to get out of the car and climb up that mountain.
“What are you thinking about?” he suddenly asked when he stopped at a red light.
“About how much this sucks,” I said on a sigh.
“I’m sorry. This has got to be hell for you, and I shouldn’t have pushed you into talking about the past.”
“No,” I muttered digging my nails deeper. “Please, don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault. I just think it’s better if we both moved on. Separately.”
Enoch sighed and my heart pounded in my ears as I waited for him to say something.
“You always worry about everyone else. When’s the last time you did something for you?”
An empty laugh spilled out of my chest.
“I’m much more selfish than you think I am,” I finally said.
“Why don’t I believe that?”
“Probably because you don’t know even a fraction of the person I am, or the choices I’ve made.”
“I know that you chose to put your own life at risk to put some people in prison.”No. I didn’t.“I know that you chose to protect me from your life because you loved me. And maybe that’s what you’re doing now. Trying to protect me from whatever it is you think will hurt me about your past.”
“You make me sound like some martyr.”
“No. You’re just not as bad as you want me to believe you are.”
No, you’re just blind to who I really am.
“Is this really about what happened in Granby or is there something else you’re not telling me?”
I groaned under my breath and shook my head to myself.
“Please, you promised to be honest with me.”
Fuck me.
