I shook my head, my insides twisting. “This isn’t about me. Please. Just…fuck. Why are you always so nice? Can’t you just, like, be angry with me? Shout. Fight.Please. Hate me. It’s okay. I can handle it.”
He huffed out a soft laugh under his breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “Sorry. I can’t hate the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
My eyes bugged with disbelief. “Hell. You’re insane.”
He chuckled harder this time. “Probably. I still think I might be having a psychotic break. Maybe all of this is only happening in my head.”
I bit my lip, a sadness washing through me at the thought of him being in such distress the other day that he had thought he needed psychiatric help. AndIdid that.Idid that to him.
“Look. How about this? Three questions. Just three. And if you don’t want to answer you don’t have to. Alright? Just, you’ve got to promise you’ll be honest with me.”
His warmth, his scent, his hopeful expression. I couldn’t resist. I’d light myself on fire if he asked me to.
“Okay,” I whispered in the small space between our bodies.
He nodded before slowly leaning back, cool air rushing into the void his absence created and the phantom of his hand still on mine.
“How did you end up in Witness Protection?”
My eyes shuttered and I took a moment to steal myself for the memories that were going to try to slip past my defenses—out of the darkness I’d been burying them in for years. I opened my eyes and focused on running my finger over a patch of the couch cushion between us.
“I was given the chance to join the program in exchange for my testimony in court.”
“So, you witnessed something and the police offered to protect you if you testified to what you saw?”
“Sort of. It was more in exchange for a lot of different information, not just one event.”
He let my answer sit in the silence between us and I felt compelled to fill it with more details.
“I was involved with a criminal organization.”
Enoch’s brow furrowed and he looked to be measuring the truth of my statement.
“What criminal organization? You mean, like, a gang?”
I nodded.
“In Granby? I didn’t know there were any gangs in Granby. Did they hurt you?” The concern etched on his face made my stomach sour.Yes, they hurt me, but I hurt people too.
I didn’t want to shatter his allusion, so I shook my head. Fuck, I was so selfish. A coward.Weak fucking puta.
“Wow, I feel so stupid. I didn’t know there were gangs in Granby. And…” he shook his head to himself. “When did you get involved with this gang? Was this after your brother died?”
Fuck. You can do this for him.
My nails scraped against the fresh pink skin that covered the back of my hand.
“Yeah.”
“Did you get involved with the intention of being an informant to join the Witness Protection Program?”
I chewed my lip for a moment, wishing that I had an easy answer for him. One that painted me in a better light.
“No. I was approached by the FBI only a day before the, um, the suicide.”
“So, you…wow.” His eyes went wide again. “Just out of the blue, and then they faked your death the next day?”
I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to explain to him how everything happened.
