My body shuddered as the cold air met my skin.
“It’s okay, love,” he said with a sad smile. “I know it’s been a long time; I don’t expect you to have followed our ways, to have not sinned. Let’s get you cleansed and ready for this next chapter.”
I released a shaky breath, my limbs starting to shake.
“Can you walk?” he asked when I didn’t move to stand.
Fuck. No. This can’t be real. This can’t be real. This can’t be real.
I eyed my bedside table drawer again, but before I could make a decision to retrieve my gun, Theo’s arms were beneath my body, raising me from the bed.
I gasped at the sight of someone else in my room. Elder Mark was here too.
He gave me a soft smile and a nod of his head, and I calculated the chances of me being able to get my gun and shoot them before they could take me away.
Part of me was still terrified that this was all a nightmare, that I might actually hurt Enoch during whatever panic-induced hallucination was happening.
I screamed in my mind as we stepped into the bathroom.
It was going to be too late. I needed to make a decision.
Pray this was a dream, and that I woke up.
Or believe that this was actually happening and fight my way out of this situation.
My muscles were locked rigid as Elder Mark turned on the tap.
Fuck!My only hope was that if I survived the bathtub, it’d wake me from this freeze response, and I would be able to get my gun.
Theo placed me feet-first onto the ground. “Brother, please find her some clothes to wear when we leave.”
Elder Mark nodded and slipped past us, back into my bedroom.
Theo’s hands rubbed up and down my arms softly. “Quickly now.”
He reached for the hem of my shirt, and I stiffly raised my arms as he removed my long-sleeved shirt. Enoch’s shirt. I closed my eyes as he sucked in a sharp breath.
“My love,” he whispered, so much sadness in his voice. “What have they done to you? They’ve poisoned your mind, haven’t they? Convinced you to live in the evil ways of the world?”
I shuddered against the cold, hands fisted at my side as his finger ran down my tattoos and onto my stomach where the self-harm scars began.
He swiftly pulled my pants down, revealing the fresh wound on my thigh and the rest of my scars.
“No,” he muttered under his breath. He grabbed my wrists, and I imagined he’d found blood on my fingernails. His hand pulled my chin up and I opened my eyes. “You’ve been punishing yourself?”
I swallowed thickly and nodded, my knees knocking as I shivered. “I tried to purge the evil.”
He sighed with a sad smile, holding my gaze. “Let me help you. Surrender it all now and God will cleanse you.”
I’d been trying for so long to rid myself of the darkness crawling inside my veins, my mind, intertwined in my very DNA, that I only just realized what I’d done. Almost four weeks. Twenty-six days. All gone, all washed away in a blink as I’d gauged my skin out.
I released a heavy breath, my shoulders curling inward and took the hand he held out for me, allowing me to step into the water of the tub.
“Don’t be afraid. We will cleanse you of these demons, and all will be forgiven. Let’s go home, my love. Home. Hmm?”
My lips tingled, little spots filling my vision. The cold water sent a chill up my spine as it lapped up my legs. I tried to slow my breathing, tried to prevent myself from passing out. I couldn’t pass out. I needed to get through this. I needed to get through this and get to my gun.
I trembled, panting as the cold water stole my breaths and swallowed my ribcage, my limbs tingling and turning numb from the frigid temperature.
