“I didn’t buy it. It was there when I got home. Seb offered me a beer. I might have taken it.” Jae sucked in a breath and I rushed out, “But I didn’t drink it.”
Jae sighed, and I felt his relief through the phone line. “Okay. Okay. You didn’t drink?”
“No. I promise,” I implored, desperate for him to believe me.
There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. “Shit, your mom is calling me. Wanna tell me why?”
“I might have exploded on everyone, trying to get out of the house. I…it gets worse.”
“What?” he asked, impatient for answers I really didn’t want to have to give him.
“Esther and Eden know I have a girlfriend. They found some stuff in my bathroom and Esther confronted me on it and I might have bit her head off too.”
As I pulled into a parking lot, I realized I’d been driving on autopilot to an AA meeting.
I sighed. At least it wasn’t the parking lot of a liquor-store.
I drummed my fingers anxiously against the steering wheel.
Jae sighed heavily. “Where are you right now?”
“Just pulled up to a meeting.”
“Good,” Jae said. “Good.”
“I’m sorry to leave you with my mess.”
“No,” he says immediately. “It’s our mess. We’re family. I’ll make sure they get rid of the alcohol. I’ll tell them I don’t want it in the house because of religious reasons.”
“Religious reasons?” I asked.
“Yeah. We attend an SDA church, and they don’t drink alcohol,” he explained.
“Oh. Right. Yeah.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll have it out of the house by the time you get home.”
“I don’t,” I paused running a hand roughly through my hair. “I don’t think I’m going to come back tonight.”
“Oh.” I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but I couldn’t face my parents and sisters tonight.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Jae. I know I’m being selfish. I know it’s shitty of me to make you keep this secret for me.”
“I promised you I’d wait for you to be ready to tell them. You’re not ready yet, so I’ll keep my mouth shut. Alright? Just take care of yourself. You going to Shiloh’s?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. My skin crawling with the cowardice I was displaying.
There was a long pause, and I checked to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
“What do you want me to tell them about you not coming home? You said your sisters already suspect you’re seeing someone. Can I just tell them you’re at your girlfriend’s house?”
“Fuck,” I hissed, slamming my forehead against the steering wheel. “I fucked it all up. I should’ve thought about the fact that my siblings are nosey. I should’ve cleared everything out the bathroom.”
“Is it such a bad thing that they know you’re in a relationship? I mean, you don’t have to tell them who, or even her name if you don’t want to, just…it might make things easier if you’re not piling on another lie they’re gonna question.”
I squeezed the steering wheel.Fuck, I’m a shitty brother. And a shitty son.
“Fuck. Fine. You can tell them I’m at my girlfriend’s house.”
