“Hey, welcome home. We’re just waiting on Jae,” she said with a smile, “and then we can kick this family dinner off.”
I nodded absently, my eyes straying to the sliding door where Sebastian was entering the house.
“Oh, hey! You’re home,” he smiled widely, and I could tell just by looking at him that he’d had enough alcohol to give him the relaxed and friendly aura he was emanating.
Fuck, that’s what I needed.To be relaxed. To step outside and join the guys. Crack jokes, act normal.
He grabbed the metal tongs from the counter, stepping towards the fridge. “I’ll grab you a beer. Come join us outside.”
Jae was going to blow a gasket when he got home because I knew he didn’t bring that alcohol into our sober household.
“Nox?” he called.
“Y-yeah. Sure.”
I stared as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, eyes zeroed in on the label.Fuck. It’sgoodbeer too.
It’d be so easy—to go outside and accept the beer Sebastian offered.
Sebastian popped the cap off with a bottle opener he took from the keychain in his pocket. Even the hiss of the cap popping off had my heart leaping, my mouth salivating.
I needed to move. I need to walk away. I needed to take back the last five seconds and tell Sebastian no thanks, but as he held the bottle out to me, my hand was already moving of its own accord.
The cold condensation on the bottle was a balm to my sweaty palm. Sebastian threw an arm around my shoulder and before I could process what was happening, I was outside on the patio, all the men in my life that I looked up to greeting me with smiles.
Wasn’t this a rite of passage? Drinking with your old man?
What was one beer? One beer with my family, one beer to take the edge off, to get me feeling like the old me, the one who enjoyed the company of his family, the one who always smiled, who wasn’t an asshole that had deserted his family.
Jae wasn’t even here. I could just benormal.
Sebastian removed his arm, allowing my dad to knock his shoulder with mine.
“Work okay?” my dad asked, leaning back against the deck railing.
The smell of the beer had permeated the air, singed my nose hairs. I fucking tasted it on my tongue. My neck itched with sweat as I glanced down at the beer in my hand.
“Nox?” Ded called.
My eyes flicked up, bouncing between them all like I’d just been caught doing something wrong. My heart raced.
Fuck. What am I doing?
Benji banged against the slider glass, and it was enough to get me to shake myself from my trance.
“Be right back,” I mumbled, spinning on my heel and heading inside. I placed the beer on the counter like it had burned me.
I went straight to my bedroom, intent on trying to get a fucking grip on my damn emotions. I wanted to rewind the clock five minutes.
Fuck! I’d taken the beer. It was in my fucking hands.
I nearly took a sip.
If I had just said no, I wouldn’t have been so fucking stupid. I should have just said no.
I stopped in my tracks, blinking at the sight of my sister on my bathroom floor, the entire contents of the bathroom sink spread out on the floor in a mess.
“What the fuck?” I muttered before I could filter myself.
