Fuck. It would feel so fucking good.
My hands shook as I stared at the spot where I knew the Band-Aid was beneath my shorts.
Why couldn’t I stop thinking about it? Things were going well. I had Enoch. I was…happy. Why did I even want to do it?
Fuck. And he’s coming over to give me a damn reward for doing so well.
Why did I feel guilty when I hadn’t even done anything?
I jumped as my phone buzzed in my hand.
I answered Enoch’s call, sweat tickling my underarms.
“Hello?”
“I’m here. Just getting in the elevator.”
“Okay.”
I finally forced myself to move, waiting at the front door, looking through the peephole until I saw his figure walking towards the door.
I hung up the phone and unlocked the door, swinging it open.
His eyes lit up, and he jogged the rest of the distance, picking me up off my feet as he crushed me against his chest.
“Fuck,” he growled against my neck, taking a deep breath. “I missed you.”
I found myself laughing. “You saw me yesterday.”
“Too long,” he muttered, sweeping my hair out of the way so that he could kiss my neck. He walked us back into my apartment, using his foot to slam the door shut. He blindlylatched the deadbolt and the chain, his attention still on kissing his way up my neck until finally his lips landed on mine.
I sighed into the kiss, wrapping my legs around his waist, and wrapping my hands around the back of his head.
This is what I needed.
He makes everything better.
I let his kisses drown out the thoughts about hurting myself, if only to push them to the back of my mind for a little while. Enoch’s hands went to my ass, supporting my weight and he walked us into the kitchen, setting me down on the counter.
His hands slid up the back of my shirt, the chill making me shiver.
He chuckled against my lips. “Sorry. It’s cold out.”
I ignored his comment and took the opportunity to put my tongue in his mouth. He groaned, our kisses getting sloppy as his hands squeezed my ribcage.
He really was the perfect distraction, but it ended too soon. He slowed down his pace until finally pulling away, panting softly against my lips.
“I missed you,” he muttered, lashes fluttering open as he looked at me.
He smiled, flicking his eyes across my body, lingering on the skin I was showing in my shirt and shorts. I realized he was probably checking for any recent wounds.
At the reminder of his gift my skin crawled with maggots.
I didn’t want a fucking gift. The pressure was too high. Now that I’d made him proud, the disappointment when I failed was only going to be that much greater.
He helped me down from the counter before walking into my bedroom.
I heard rustling of clothing and followed him, stopping in my doorway to find Enoch stripping.
