Twenty-Seven
July 24, Friday
Emory
I hadn’t realized how much I’d been starved for affection in the last three years until I packed a bag and moved in,temporarily,with Enoch and Jae.
Everything was so domestic. Falling asleep in his arms, greeting each other with goofy‘honey, I’m home’every night, eating dinner together and talking about how our days were. It was perfect.
Which was why I was preparing a meal, or as Jae had coined when he walked in, a feast. I wanted to give him something back. I wanted to do something for him; show him I loved him even if I wasn’t able to say the words.
I watched Jae dice an onion across the kitchen from me as I finished washing the potatoes in the sink.
“I didn’t realize you were so into cooking,” Jae said over his shoulder.
I shrugged. “I’d always been the chef in the family. My brother wasn’t home enough to cook much, and he never took the time to learn to make anything more than boxed macaroni and cheese.”
“So, where did you learn?”
“There was this older woman who ran a daycare out of her home. I have no idea if it was legal or accredited in any way, but it’s where all the neighborhood kids went when they weren’t in school and parents were working. I was kind of a loner and so I spent most of my time with her, in her kitchen.”
“Well, it’s a necessary skill to have, so kudos to her. Wait, that's the same woman that Sebastian had said you guys were cared for?"
I smiled to myself and nodded, “Yeah.”
“Is this a new recipe or have you made this before?”
“No, I’ve made this before.” My stomach tensed at the thought that I was making the same meal I had once made for my husband. A meal I’d been taught to make during RLS. “It’s honestly not that impressive. It’s, like, the easiest thing to make. The oven does all of the work for you.”
“Mmhmm,” Jae drawls sarcastically. “Tell that to my crying eyeballs.”
I chuckled and chucked the tie from the potato sack at the back of his head.
“Hey!” He whined, turning to give me a glare.
I laughed and turned off the sink, moving to an empty space of countertop.
“I don’t think I’ve said thank you.”
“I was just teasing,” he said. “It’s really not a big deal to cut this onion. I’m happy to help.”
I shook my head with a soft laugh as I turned to face Jae. “No, I mean for everything you’ve done for Enoch. I…you were right. I shouldn’t have left those voicemails. I shouldn’t have asked you to do what I did, that was…well, it was unfair, even if you would have done it of your own accord, I shouldn’t have asked that of you.”
Jae turned with a sigh, “No, Shy. I was wrong. I don’t think things would have turned out much differently. In fact, I think it would have made things worse if you hadn’t said goodbye. I think-I think we would’ve held onto a lot more guilt if you hadn’t taken the chance to say goodbye.”
I chewed my lip, studying his red, watery eyes for anything but his sincerity.
“Well, in any case, thank you.”
Jae smiled, using the back of his hands to wipe at his eyes.
“Where do you want these onions?”
“Uh,” I blinked glancing at the whole chicken sitting in the baking dish on the stove. “Inside the bird.”
“Great,” he muttered with a grimace. “Because everyone wants to stick their hands up a dead chicken’s ass.”
I snorted and shook my head at him. “Well, next time don’t offer to help, dipshit.”
