We weren’t fucking doing that again.
I wasn’t letting some dark secret get in the way of our livesagain.
I just needed to find the right words to ask her what happened.
Watching her suffer, I had this sinking feeling that history was repeating itself. The dark secrets she was hiding were going to take her away from me again. And I was afraid if I didn’t do something now, it would be too late.
I shook out my hands, trying to get rid of the anxious energy as I stripped the bed and brought everything downstairs where the washer was. Jae was sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him. I made sure to keep my movements as quiet as possible as I stuffed everything in the washer with some stain remover.
I headed back upstairs quickly, afraid that I wouldn’t hear Shiloh if she called out for me. I stood outside the bathroom door for a solid minute when I returned. All I could hear wasthe shower going, but my mind was already thinking about how she could be hurting herself and without hesitation I cracked the door open, keeping my eyes down.
“How you doing?”
I heard her gasp, no doubt startled by my unannounced question.
“Um, fine. Almost done.”
“Okay, no rush.”
I didn’t necessarily believe her. I never believed her when she said that word.Fine. Like it actually held any meaning after the amount of times I knew she’d said it dishonestly.
I closed the door and focused on putting fresh linens on the bed. I didn’t have a spare mattress protector, so I lined her half of the bed with towels before putting on the fitted sheet. I glanced at the floor. The stain was small, and I really didn’t care about it seeing as I planned to rip the carpet out in here eventually.
Instead of trying to get it out, I stripped out of my clothes that had gotten a little dirty while she had been sitting in my lap and quickly pulled on a fresh pair of pajamas.
I was pulling the shirt over my head when the shower turned off. I knew she was going to put up a fight about wanting to leave. Of course, I wanted her to have space if that’s what she wanted, but after that—I didn’t even know what to call it–—there was no way in hell I was leaving her to go home alone.
She wanted space, fine. I’d sleep on the couch. More likely just lay there worrying about if she was getting some sleep.
The door opened, a billow of steam swirling out from around her body. I smiled at the sight of her in my clothes. I’d never get bored of the sight of her in my clothing. It was possessive and obsessive, but she did that to me. She was mine. Forever.
“Hey,” I said with a soft smile, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, arms out in a silent beckoning for her to step closer.
She chewed her bottom lip, her red eyes looking around the space before snagging on the towel I’d left on the floor where she had been kneeling.
“Don’t worry about it. Come here,” I motioned. Her eyes snapped to me, and she finally crossed the space between us. As soon as she was within reach, my hands hooked behind her thighs and pulled her until she was standing in between my legs. I lifted her leg until it was resting on the outside of my hip, her hands automatically catching her balance on my shoulders. Her other leg followed until she was sitting on my lap.
My hands rubbed her legs before coming to rest on her hips, squeezing gently.
“You want to try and get some more sleep? Do you need me to run to the store?”
I took stock of her features, watching as her eyes studied me back. I wished I could fucking read her mind. I wanted to crawl inside, hold all her thoughts and kick out all the ones that had her questioning this, doubting herself. Her hands dropped down my arms, falling into the space between us.
She sighed, her eyes focusing on her fidgeting fingers.
“I told you to just take me home.”
“You are home.”
She groaned and the corner of my mouth ticked up.
“Enoch,please. I’m serious.” The plea did little to persuade me.
“And I’m serious that I’m not driving you home. It’s the middle of the night, you’re upset, and I’m not going to let go home alone. If you want to be alone, I’ll be in the next room.”
She huffed, her body leaning away from me, but I held her firmly in my lap.
“Shiloh. Don’t run away. I want this side of you, too.”
