I’ll drown for sure this time.I couldn’t help the rush of tears or the strangled cry that left my throat. This was the end.
I was suddenly wrenched upright, and I braced for impact, maybe a slap or the whip of his belt, the tears now freely flowing. For once I was grateful my eyes had swollen shut so quickly from the tears, because I didn’t want his face to be the last thing I saw.
I choked on air, my trembling body only upright because he was still holding onto my shoulder.
Weak. I am so weak.
“Fuck. It’s okay. I’m not mad.Shiloh. It’s. Okay.”
What the hell is happening?
Why does it…Enoch?
I tried to pry my eyes open to no avail. My heart was racing so fast, I couldn’t get my brain to think.
“Shiloh, breathe, baby. Breathe. You’re okay.” My hand was in his now and I realized with shock that it was Enoch’s voice.
“A-am I dead? This-this is-is-isn’t real.”
My head was swimming, my limbs tingling from the lack of oxygen and I was certain if I wasn’t dead, I was about to be with how out of control my body felt.This had to be the end. My mind had never conjured up such a realistic fantasy of him during punishments before.
Strong arms suddenly lifted me into the air, and I flailed, reaching out to clutch the fabric of his shirt.
“Not the tub, please,” I begged.
I sucked in a breath of air, my body trembling.
Detergent. Pine.
Where is he? Where’s Theo?
“I know, baby. We’re not going to the tub. We’re just walking into the kitchen for some ice. Focus on my voice.”
I tried to suck in some air, get some function back into my clearly fucked-up brain. Was I dreaming? Was this a nightmare?
The confusion was only freaking me more the fuck out.
Why couldn’t I get a grip on reality?
The kitchen?
“You’re okay,” Enoch said. His voice calm and steady, but maybe a little edge of worry in it. My body jostled as he moved and then a loud groaning sound made me jump. The ping, ping, ping was hard to place until I remembered. Ice.He’s getting me ice.
I sucked in another deep breath.
Ice.
In a cup.
With Enoch.
We were moving again, and I clutched his shirt tighter, my brain trying to paint a picture of where we were and what was happening.
I sucked down another breath.
“Just gonna go sit down. I’ll wrap the ice in a towel, and you can try to relax until the swelling starts to go down.”
My heart skipped and I nodded, sucking down another deep breath.
