Where thefuckwas Javier? If that fucker stayed out again without telling me, I was going to be so pissed. He knew I worried about him, the least he could fucking do was let me know not to wait up for him. Why was I surprised? At least once a week he wouldn’t tell me beforehand that he was going to be gone for a night, or two, or three. Didn’t stop me from having a fucking heart attack every time, thinking he'd been stabbed by one of his buyers or something.
My body jolted awake when there was a knock on the door. I must’ve dozed off for a minute. I squinted until I could read the clock— 4:27.
“Güerita, it’s me,” my brother’s voice said from the other side. I hopped up and unlocked the door, letting him slip inside, before quickly relocking it.
“You’re late,” I scowled, looking at the shape of his figure in the dark as he removed his shirt.
“I know, I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He cursed to himself as a thud resounded in the room. He must have run into the dresser.
“Did something happen?” I hesitantly asked, sitting down on my mattress.
His movements stilled for a moment before he answered in a clipped tone, “It’s nothing, Shy. Go back to sleep.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest as he removed his belt and it clanged against the thin carpet. He groaned and I studied his movements as he slowly lowered himself to his mattress opposite mine.
“Doesn’t sound likenothing,” I said stubbornly.
“Go to sleep, Shiloh.”
I huffed and laid back down, grinding my teeth with anger at his unwillingness to tell me what happened and why he was so moody about it.
I was tired of watching him get hurt, of not knowing if he was safe when he’d sometimes be gone for days at a time. I didn’t need to deal with the stress of whatever this was when I had school and unfinished college applications taunting me for any ounce of hope I held for getting in.
I finally rolled my stiff body off my mattress when I saw the sun coming up through one of the missing blinds on the window and quietly grabbed a pair of clean clothes from the closet. Javi stirred in his sleep, always a light sleeper like me.
With the blanket over his head muffling his voice he mumbled, “Have a good day. Good luck on your Econ quiz.”
He rolled over with a groan, squinting up at me with a crooked smile.
“Puta madre, your face!” I whisper-shouted when he sat up slowly. “What the fuck happened?”
I knelt beside his bed, holding his chin to inspect the damage. The whole right side of his face was battered, his eye swollen shut. I would have forced him to get seen at the hospital if it weren’t for the stitches across his jaw, letting me know he’d already been given medical attention.
He groaned and swatted my hand away, revealing blood-stained bandages wrapped around his fingertips.Fuck. What did they do?
“Javi,” I stated warningly.
“It’s not what you think. I didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”
He whimpered out a sigh as he slowly sat up, wincing in pain.
So, if it wasn’t a punishment, then…I hadn’t seen him this beat up since he was initiated. It wasn’t like they would make him beat-in again unless—Holy fuck!
“No!” I spat standing up and looking down at him. “¡No mames!”
I shook my head in disbelief. Anger. Fear.
For the first time in years, I felt the prick of impending salty tears start to pool in my eyes. I quickly blinked them away, clenching my jaw, holding onto my anger.
“No me chingues, Javi,” I gritted out. “Pinche idiota. ¿Eres estúpido?”
“Mira,” Javier licked his split lip and stared at his quilt. “Let me explain, Shiloh.”
I scoffed and shook my head. He wasn’t denying it.
“Why? Why would you fucking do this to us, Javier?” I demanded. “Here you were just yesterday spewing all this shit about how if you tried to leave they’d murder me, and you went and fucking ranked up? Dug your own grave while you were at it too, because there’s no way you’re getting out now that you’re not just any Ghost. What are you, like, in charge of a bunch of dealers now? What’d Carlos promise you this time, huh? More money?”
He let out a sigh, wincing and grabbing his side again.
