Fuck. I shouldn’t have asked her like that. I should’ve been more sensitive.
Her screams when I held her arms down to stop her from hurting herself were still echoing in my ears. Pressure built behind my eyes, and I let out a shaky breath. I shouldn’t have been crying. I felt stupid when Shiloh was the one who needed attention, but I couldn’t stop the tears escaping my eyes.
Get it together. Shiloh is going to wake up confused and you need to be in there.I stood up, wiping my face and letting out a deep breath.
“Hey.”
I jumped, clearing my throat. “Hey.”
I ignored Jae’s heavy stare, focusing on putting the ice cream away and grabbed a kitchen towel to fill with ice. His hand landed on my arm, and I met his eyes.
“It’s not your fault.”
My chest sank and I felt the urge to cry return. “No, it was. And I feel terrible.”
Jae took the towel from my hands and dropped it onto the counter, pulling me into a hug. I sighed, hugging him back.
“That was intense, dude,” Jae said.
I nodded against his shoulder and squeezed him. I was glad I wasn’t the only one completely off-balance after witnessing her panic attack. I let myself enjoy the comfort he offered, knowing I needed to get back to Shiloh soon before she woke up.
???
November 11, Thursday
Shiloh
Itried to pry my eyes open but after several attempts I recognized the familiar sensation of them being swollen from crying. I swept through my memory to piece together why I was crying, and I cringed audibly.
“Shy?”
Oh god.
“Hi,” I mumbled.
Jesus was I screaming? My throat burns like a motherfucker.
“Here. Some ice.”
I nodded, taking the cold towel and holding it against my face.
Oh my fucking fuck. Fuck this shit. Fuck this motherfucking shit.
My embarrassment was overwhelming, and I had no way of even excusing what was very obviously a panic attack. If I could see, I would have already run out the house to avoid this entire fucking situation. But instead, I was stuck lying on the floor temporarily blind while his whole fucking family witnessed the aftermath.
The silence was unbearable.Are we just going to pretend nothing happened? Great. Good. Fine.I cleared my throat, setting the towel aside and rolling to a sitting position.
“I should just go.”
Enoch’s hands gripped mine, the bite of cold shocked me. He must have been holding the ice.How the fuck long was I out for?
“I think you should wait for your vision to clear.”
I groaned, my eyes burning as I rolled them behind my eyelids.Of course he’s going to be nice and rational. Damn you.
“I don’t want you to feel embarrassed. Or feel like you need to leave because of what happened. If you want to go home, I’ll take you, but we’re happy to have you stay the night too. Whatever you feel comfortable with.”
“Why can’t you just be a dick and tell me to go home?”
