By the time she got back to the ED, Bernadette saw that the normal Saturday night madness was beginning to ramp up, the whiteboard was filling up, and the noise was a few decibels louder than when she’d left.She quickly dipped into the nursing bay and opened the staff drawer to retrieve her phone.The screen was stacked with notifications.The first two were from a couple of the other women who were meant to be meeting them tonight – Danielle Strang and Annabel Stevens.Bernadette opened Danielle’s first.
Just realised the date!So sorry – in Turks and Caicos with new man.Bliss!You ladies have a drink for me.Kisses!Xxx
Much as she’d miss her presence tonight, that made Bernadette grin.Danielle used to be a globe-trotting model in her bygone days, and she was always up for both romance and travel.It seemed she’d found both.Good for her.
The second one, from Annabel Stevenson, the esteemed Member of the Scottish Parliament, had slightly less joy.
Late vote in the house tonight.Incompetent eejits.Raincheck.
Last year there had been six of them at their meeting.Tonight, there would be three.But that was enough for what Bernadette needed to do.
The next text was from Stuart and Bernadette felt a twinge of happiness that her son had finally got back to her.
Sorry I missed your call this morning.All good here.See you tomorrow.Love you!xx
Her shoulders rose just a little higher.She had no doubt that, in years to come, he and Nina could be in their sixties, and eighty-odd-year-old Bernadette would still feel a tingle of relief every time she got a happy text from them.
And finally,finally,a text from Jack.The Hallelujah Chorus struck up in her head.
Sorry Bernie.Slammed today.See you tomorrow love.
He wasn’t a man for xxxx’s or emojis.Still, at least he’d finally answered.But was this enough?Could she really carry on conducting most of their relationship by text?No.She wanted more.But the thing that had been her most important thought this morning, the question of her future, of building a more permanent life with Jack, was now only the second most crucial thing on her mind because she had a more pressing situation to worry about right now.Marge.Estelle.She supposed she’d always known this day would come but…
The thought was interrupted by a nudge on the shoulder from Caleb.‘Hey, I thought you’d gone?’
‘Came back for my phone,’ she said, waving it as proof.‘I just saw Keli up in Elderly – had to pop up to visit an old pal who’s been admitted.’
Caleb must have caught something in her voice.‘Are you okay?’
‘I am.’Was she?She was devastated about Marge’s illness and worried for the challenges Estelle was going to have to face.She had doubts over what her future held with Jack.And she was dreading the news she was going to have to share at tonight’s gathering.‘I think I just got a reminder that life’s too short.’No, she wasn’t okay.There was a surge of anxiety spreading from her core to her finger tips and toes, but she shook it off.This wasn’t the time or place to indulge her own feelings.‘Anyway, before I go…’ Her gaze went to the whiteboard.‘Murray Atkins?’
‘Consultant is being super-cautious and has just told him that he has a serious concussion and we want to keep him in overnight for observation.At which point, today’s favourite patient, and I say that with as much sarcasm as my soul possesses, lost his shit and is currently discharging himself.Says we’ve wasted his day.Another highlight of job satisfaction in the ED.Luckily, I get my joy from food, sleep and being gorgeous.’
Bernadette chuckled.‘Well, remember I’m off tomorrow and, much as I love you, don’t dare call me.’
‘Not a chance – I’m off tomorrow too.Right, I’ve got an enema in bay 13, then I’m gone.’
Bernadette also took the moment to flee, all too aware that if she stood still, there was every chance she’d get roped into helping with some new emergency or drama.And all too aware that she could never say no.
Moving quickly, she nipped into the changing rooms and threw her clothes back on.The black trousers and polo-neck sweater weren’t what she’d planned to wear tonight, but there was no time to go home now, so they would have to do.She fluffed in a bit of dry shampoo, sprayed some deodorant, popped a mint, applied some lippy and was ready in ten minutes.
The cold air slammed into her as she walked outside.It was already dark, and she was about to put her head down and speed to the car when she saw a tiny orange light, a cigarette, someone holding it, standing in the shadow to the left of her.
Bernadette could see just enough to recognise the face, so she stopped.Approached.Listened as the other woman spoke first.
‘I bet you’re loving this,’ Lila Atkins drawled, with the bitterness Bernadette had come to expect from her.
Bernadette shook her head.‘Not at all.’She took a step to walk on, knowing that she was the last person that her ex-husband’s former mistress wanted to speak to, but then kindness and experience got the best of her and she stopped.‘You know, Lila, I’m sorry this happened to you.Truly.No one deserves it.’
Lila shrugged it off.‘I knew what I was getting into.’
Bernadette wasn’t ready to let go.‘Look, I need to go.But if you ever want to grab a coffee and talk about this or anything else…’
Lila’s head whipped around as if she’d been slapped.‘So you can pity me?Nah, I’m fine, thanks.Do you know how pathetic that is?You think you of all people get to feel sorry for me?No.No, you don’t.’
Jesus, this woman would try the patience of a saint.
‘I don’t feel sorry for you, but I think what happened with Murray this morning couldn’t have been easy.’
