Keli nodded sympathetically.‘Yes, she’s in room 4.I had no idea you knew her.She’s such a lovely lady.We’re really fond of her.And I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.She doesn’t get a lot of visitors.Estelle, mainly.’
There was no one else within earshot, but still, Bernadette leaned forward, lowering her voice, ‘Estelle told me about her illness.How bad is it?’
Keli’s expression told her everything.‘We’re moving her to palliative care tomorrow.I’m sorry, Bernie.’
Bernadette felt the punch of that in her stomach.Madge was someone she’d known for half her life.Someone she cared about.Someone who – over the last five years – she’d had a unique connection with.They were part of each other’s story, and they didn’t need to see each other every week or month to know they cared about each other.
‘Thanks, Keli.Is it okay if I pop in now?’
‘Of course it is.If you need anything, just call for me.’
As Bernadette walked towards the door, she took a breath, prepared herself to react with nothing but a friendly smile, no matter how unwell Marge looked, but it wasn’t necessary because when she opened the door, she saw that Marge was fast asleep.
Sitting down beside her, Bernadette took in her friend’s appearance.Marge’s soft grey hair was, as always, pulled back in a ballerina bun at the nape of her neck, but the lips that were always impeccably outlined in a pale pink lipstick were now bare, her cheeks sunken.Still beautiful, though.Still Marge.
As if she sensed her presence, Marge opened her eyes, and Bernadette reached for her hand, flashing her very best grin.‘I believe you ordered a nurse, Marge?’
Marge immediately went with the joke.‘I believe I did.’
Bernadette didn’t miss the hoarseness of her voice.Marge had always been someone who could – when necessary – assert her authority with firmness, conviction and occasional terror.Now that gusto was gone and Bernadette ached for her.But she knew that sympathy and tears weren’t what Marge needed right now.
‘Och, Marge, you’ll go to some extremes to get out of our big annual meet-up.And it was your turn to buy the first round tonight.’
‘Ah, I’ll get it next year.’As Marge managed a weak chuckle, Bernie saw a single droplet of water run down one cheek, before her smile turned to sadness and Marge whispered, ‘I should have called you sooner.Should have told you about the cancer.I’m sorry.’
Bernadette squeezed her hand gently.‘Don’t apologise, Marge.I just wish I’d known so I could be here for you.’
‘I thought I’d be okay.Thought I’d beat it.I didn’t know how bad it was going to get until we got here.’
‘I understand,’ Bernadette said softly.‘How’s Estelle holding up?I met her downstairs.She’s lovely, Marge.You must be so proud of her.’
‘I am.But, you know, I think it’s time to tell her, Bernadette.We’ve held on to this for long enough.’
Marge didn’t need to explain what she was talking about because Bernadette knew it could only be one thing – the story Marge had entrusted her with back at Kenneth’s funeral five years ago.The story of Estelle’s birth.Of the man who had fathered Marge’s gorgeous girl.Down in the canteen, Bernadette had seen the resemblance.Now Marge was telling her that it was time to release the secret her friend had kept for thirty-five years, and the one she’d found the strength to share with Bernadette that day, surrounded by people pretending to mourn her late husband.
For the next few slow, pained moments, she listened as Marge found her voice for long enough to tell her what she wanted her to do.When she was done, Bernadette leaned towards her, still holding on to her friend’s hand, her heart breaking for her, for Estelle, for the inevitable devastation that was about to come.
‘Marge, I’ll do anything you ask of me.But are you sure?’
Marge nodded slowly.‘I am.’
Bernadette nodded.She had no idea if this was the right decision, but her feelings weren’t important here – all that mattered were Marge’s wishes.‘Okay, my love.Leave it with me – I’ll work it out and come back tomorrow.The nurse, Keli, told me you’re moving downstairs, so I’ll come find you.And don’t worry, Marge, we’ll be here for you.For you both.’
A second drop of water ran down Marge’s cheek and Bernadette gently wiped it away.Before she could say any more, the door opened behind her and Estelle came in, so Bernadette immediately shifted her energy back to cheeriness.
‘Well, Marge, I need to get off.I have a meeting I need to go to and, apparently, I’m now buying the first round.’
As Marge smiled, Bernadette shifted the conversation to Estelle.
‘Now that I’ve found your mum here, you won’t get rid of me.I’ve promised I’ll be back tomorrow.Will you be here, Estelle?It would be lovely to get to know you.You’re not far off the age of my daughter, Nina.I think she’d like to meet you too.’
As Estelle smiled, Bernadette thought how much she looked like Marge too.The lass was a definite mix of both her parents.‘Yes, I’ll be here.And I’d like that very much.’
As she hugged both of them, Bernadette knew she didn’t have to repeat the words she’d said earlier, because Marge would feel it.
Don’t worry, Marge.We’ve got you.
All the way down in the lift, Bernadette’s eyes were closed, thinking through Marge’s request, realising that this was going to be one of those pivotal moments where a life would change.Bernadette just hoped Estelle had her mother’s strength.
