I suppose I deserve this.
Shaking my head, I turn off the water and I step out to dry off.No one comes to check on me.No one comes to make sure I’m okay.But then, why would they?I was the moron who wrote, I’d be up for anything.
My pussy throbs as I drag the rough towel in between my thighs.Even now, it comes away smeared in a shiny pearlescent—his seed mixed with my arousal.The scent is so undeniably him it makes everything in me ache with unfettered need.It doesn’t matter that he gave me more pleasure in this one session than I’ve had since I’ve been sexually active.
Unfortunately, I know I can’t stay in here forever.Dropping the dirty stuff into the open bin, I pull on a robe and head out the door.Heat tinges my cheeks as I wait for another receptionist to come in and take me to where I can find new clothes.Not that she’d judge me.
She doesn’t have to.I’m judging me enough for both of us.
With a bright smile, she takes me to a back room where everything is laid out for me to see.So many types, patterns, and fabrics greet my eyes, but what to choose?What am I allowed to have?
“Your Alpha said to have you pick whatever you wanted.He’s footing the bill, so don’t worry about cost.He also said you’re to get something that’s actually valuable and not something you’d just get because it’s cheap.”
Your Alpha.I wish.He does seem to know me, though.
With a heavy sigh, I walk past the luxurious lounge sets to the fancier dresses and suits.Nothing here is my style.I’m not ostentatious.I’m not showy.It’s not always a matter of I want it cheap.
“Will he know what I pick out?”
“I mean, the more expensive it is, the higher the charge will be on his card,” she muses.“But he won’t know the exact outfit, no.”
Nodding, I go back to what looks like a pair of soft pajamas and run my fingers over the threads.All my pajamas at home are threadbare and worn.It would be nice to have something comfortable to wear at home for Christmas.
“Are you sure?”she asks.“That’s not even close to what his allotted budget is normally.All Alphas get a clothes budget in case things get…”
“Dirty?Naughty?Filthy?Ravaging?”I supply.“It’s okay.You can say it.”
“Let’s just say you’re not the first to need a change of clothes on the way out.”
My lips tilt up in a thin smile.“Not shocked there.Yes.I’d very much like these.”
For a moment, she hesitates.What exactly did Master Locke—Jason—tell her?Will she really force me to get something I’m not comfortable in?Even as I look about the room, a pang of longing settles deep in my gut.
It’s no use.I won’t have anywhere to go and show it off.It will just sit in my closet.It doesn’t matter that most of these are worth more than my rent.Why get something pretty just to look at?
Shaking her head, she looks down at her hand-held device and clicks a few buttons.“Well, make sure to get a nice bra and panty set, at least.Make his pocketbook hurt a little.”
I can’t breathe as I take in the brocade and fancy pieces.All of them look as if they’re made for sex, made for exposure and longing.Again, where will I even wear these?No.It’s best I get something practical I can wear to work, something to take the place of what he already ripped off me.
My fingers tremble as I reach out and choose another plain cotton set, just like what I already owned.If she’s upset, she thankfully doesn’t say it.With a nod, she makes another notation before leading me back into the shower room and closing the door with a soft click.
He’d hate what I chose.Deep in my gut, I know it.But honestly, what’s the point in caring?It’s not like we’re going to see each other again.And yet, when I slip on the new clothes, I can still smell him.
It’s as if he’s tainted my very soul and ruined me for everyone else but him.It’s ridiculous.It’s madness.It’s heartbreaking.Stifling a soft sob, I make my way back home to the small apartment and the little brother who’s waiting for me.
As I make my way inside, my neighbor pokes her head out of the kitchen with a warm smile.“Ah!There you are.Late night?You’re usually home a bit earlier.”
Guilt gnaws at me as I put my keys by the door and hang up my purse.“Sorry.Gotta get the hours where I can.Thank you so much for watching him.I didn’t think the shift would run over this much.”
“Of course not, dear.‘Tis the season and all that.Everybody out hustling and bustling.I remember those days.”Not one bit of judgment laces her tone, and somehow, it just makes the guilt hit all the harder.
Would she be this kind if she knew where I was?Would she smile at me like a kindly mother if she knew I was flat on my back while an Alpha rutted me like I was his, only to leave me cold and alone?
Jason’s money sits heavy in my pocket as I make my way toward the kitchen.It really wasn’t fair to keep her like this without asking first.I hold out a bill, not sure if it’s enough, but she shakes her head and gives a soft tsk.
“Put that away.Your money’s no good here.Get yourself a nice dinner with it.Maybe some groceries?Or, better yet, use it to buy Daniel a Christmas present.”Her lips curl into an inviting smile that makes my heart threaten to shatter.“Besides,” she continues.“He’s a joy.Makes me feel young again.I was happy to keep him company.”
“Oh.I- but-”
