“Hmm. I didn’t know you liked to cook.”
“I don’t. I mean, I help my mom here and there, but I feel like if I was married…”
“Yeah?”
I look away, totally embarrassed. “I don’t know. Maybe I’d want to do something special for my husband and whip up a delicious meal. Just to show how much I love and appreciate him.”
He closes his eyes. “Mmm. That’s a good image.”
“What about you?” I quickly ask before I can embarrass myself further. “Anything special you want in your perfect house?”
“Just happiness,” he says. “Maybe four kids.”
“Four?”
“Sure. Twin boys and twin girls.”
“Oh my gosh. That sounds terrifying.”
He shrugs. “I’ve always wanted to have a sibling. Growing up with no parents felt so lonely, but it was extra lonely because I felt like no one understood how I felt. I mean, my grandparents are the most phenomenal people, but they grieved a son and a daughter, not a parent. It’s just different.”
I nod, wishing I could say more to comfort him. But I can’t possibly know what he’s been through. I take his hand and squeeze it gently.
He offers me a thankful smile. “I know I didn’t talk much about my parents at camp. I’ve always tried to carry a positive attitude, but I still held in all the pain, you know? I feel like I’m more open about them now. I’m open about the heartache. I used to ignore the ache in my chest when I thought about them in the past, but I try to embrace it now. Like, I’m not embarrassed if I’m sitting in class and randomly think about what it would have been like if they hadn’t died and then start to feel a little teary-eyed. I won’t start bawling in public, but I wouldn’t try to fight it, either.”
“I know I’ve said this to you in the past, but I think you’re one of the strongest people in the world. I can’t imagine…” I shake my head.
“Thanks. It always meant a lot that I had your support.”
I lean back on the swing and turn to watch him. He’s swallowing a few times as though he’s trying really hard not to cry. I move closer and rest my head on his shoulder. “You can cry now,” I whisper. “No one’s paying attention to us.”
He rests his chin on my head. “I don’t feel like I want to cry now. I feel oddly at peace.”
“Yeah?”
“Like…I know I’ll always feel broken by their deaths, and I’m sure I’ll find myself crying at random times, but being here with the guys, and having you here…I just feel good.” He wraps an arm around me. “Your friendship means a lot to me, more thanyou can ever know. I’m so glad we were able to forgive each other and be friends again.”
“I’m so glad, too.”
“Dudes!” Leo shouts as he, Jasper, and Beck run over to us. “You’ll never believe it. We have a gig!”
Kylen sits up sharply. “What?”
“I just got an email from a guy who manages a teen club in town. They have a last-minute cancellation tomorrow night and they asked if we’d like to fill in. He saw our video online and likes our sound!”
“Is this for real?” Beck says as he takes out his phone and researches the club. “Seems legit. Yeah, the place looks really cool.”
“What do you say?” Jasper looks from one to the other. “He wants to video chat with us to go over some details. Are we in?”
“I’m in!” Beck does a small victory dance.
“Same,” Leo says. “This will be so much fun.”
Kylen smiles. “I can’t believe this is happening. Our first gig. We’re like professionals.”
“Heck, yeah!” Jasper says.
I hug all of them. “It’s such great news. You guys deserve it.”
