Trying with all my might not to laugh, because it was not the time for laughter, I lost the battle and snort-chuckled, “Well, they don’t usually ‘poof’ people out of existence.It’s not their groove.Ya’ know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” she huffed with an incredibly serious roll of her eyes.
“And like I’ve said before, implementing the Rules of Necromancy was a little more complicated than a snap of Their fingers, but ya’ know what?”
“What?”
Giving her a wink, I kept right on going, “You’ve got the gist, and that’s good enough.”
“Thank the Goddess!”Throwing her hands up in what she called her ‘hallelujah move’, Ione dropped into a dramatic bow and added, “Cause I love you more than a quad-shot, crème Brulé latte with extra whipped cream and oatmeal Scotchy cookies, but I would shove sharp pencils into both my ears if I had to listen to the History of Necromancer one more time.”
“Alright, Sweetpea.I got you.”
At the use of her childhood nickname, Iona raised her head.Eyes twinkling and a grin on her face, she chirped, “You haven’t called me that in forever.”
“Yeah,” I snickered with a nod.“Remember when I called you that in front of Missy and the other girls?”
Eyes instantly wide, her lips pursed in a perfect circle, and she breathed, “Oh, shit.”
“Mhm, oh shit is right,” I chuckled.“You lost your ever-lovin’ mind.You came bustin’ through that front door like a runaway freight train and told me that I was never ever never to call you that again.You said that I had embarrassed you, and…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember.”Waving her hand like she was shooing away gnats at a picnic, Iona’s shoulders bounced as she silently chuckled, “It wasn’t my finest hour.Can I claim temporary insanity?”
“Sure!”Bursting out laughing right along with her, the best tension reliever I knew of, I just had to tease, “Puberty is a bitch during the best of times, but with Magic like ours, it’s a bastard with a hemorrhoid.”
“A bastard with a hemorrhoid?”Iona was laughing so hard that her words were little more than a wheeze.“Th-That’s a-a new one.”
“Girl, I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.”
The chime of Momma’s antique grandfather clock out in the hall told me that time was quickly ticking by, and I needed to get on the road, but I couldn’t do that until I was sure Iona was okay.I couldn’t leave until I heard her say she understood I had to do what I had to do, that it was incredibly dangerous, and that I needed her to stay home and be safe.
“Look, here it is,” I matter-of-factly stated.“This is the speech I have been rehearsing in my head since the moment I figured out what I had to do.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
Drawing an imaginary X on my chest, I swung my right arm up with my palm facing my little sister.“Cross my heart and hope to die.I solemnly swear, I have literally been practicing what to say to you for at least a month.”
“Holy shit!”She gasped.“For the first time inhis-to-ry,the great Bernadette Elizabeth Fogarty didn’t have all the answers?She didn’t instantly have a three-pronged approach with a slide show and handouts with ready-made notes for future reference?”
“I am not that bad.”
Doing her best Scarlett O’Hare imitation, complete with the back of her hand on her forehead, she added extra oomph to her Southern accent and teased, “With the Goddess as my witness, I never thought I’d see the day.My sister, the Princess and Heir apparent of the Heatherton Legacy, fumblin’ through life like the rest of us poor unfortunate souls.”
Swatting her outstretched elbow, I tried not to chuckle as I shot right back, “Alright, Miss Southern Bell, that’s about enough outta you.”
Dropping her arm and looking at me with a gleam in her eye, my little sister went on, “Come on then.”Clasping her hand with a clap and letting them fall to her lap, she sat up tall and added, “Get on with the speech.It’s sure to be a doozie!Let’s hear it.I’m not gettin’ any younger here.”
Snickering despite the situation, I sighed, “You are such a brat.”
“Yep, that’s the way you raised me.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault?”
“Yep.”Giving me a single, sharp nod, she went on with a shrug, “Better yet, I’m just like you, and you love me more every day because of it all.”
“Well, shit, ya’ got me there.”
“I’m good like that.”Motioning with both her hands for me to get the show on the road, Iona couldn’t help but add, “Enough stalling.Get on with it.I can tell that you’ve made up your mind, and that means you’re not gonna change it.So, tell me what’s up, and let’s go from there.I figure there will be shouting and the proverbial gnashing of teeth before I get my way.”
