I shrug. “Like I said, it’s just a theory. Maybe I’m wrong.” Looking straight at her, I say, “Please don’t mention it to Annie Laurie.”
Her mouth gapes open. “Are you kidding me? Of course I won’t.”
A loudbangfollowed by a chorus of giggles out in the hall—a perfectly normal occurrence for Martin—momentarily stops our talk. Any minute now someone will barge into my room, but I want to continue our conversation. It feels like I’ve lost fifteen pounds admitting the truth to Ellie. “I’m sorry I lied to you, El. It’s just been so damn hard. For me… and my grandparents.”
With an understanding nod, she clasps my wrist. “What about your dad? You never mention him.”
“Never met him.”
Her eyebrows bounce on her forehead. Now I’ve really shocked her.
“Nope. My mom got pregnant with me her senior year of high school. She never told me or my grandparents who my dad is.”
“Oh, Cali. I’m sorry.”
“I overheard my grandparents talking one time. They think they know who he is. There was this older, redheaded guy who taught at Blue Mountain College named Will Smith. I remember his name because of the movie star. They suspect it was him, but no one knows for sure. Somewhere along the line my mom became rebellious because of her strict religious upbringing. At least that’s what Papaw thinks.”
“Do you want to find out who he is for sure?”
“Sometimes, but I’m not burning to know. Maybe one day. I wish my momhad put me up for adoption. But then again, I have the greatest grandparents in the world. If I’d been adopted, well, you know. I wouldn’t know them.”
“You’re lucky there. I love my grandmother, but she’s a piece of work. And I never knew my grandfather. What little my mom remembers of him is great, though.” She slips out of the covers and moves off the bed. “I’ve got to get out of this dress. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay. Shut the door behind you, please.”
The click of the door brings silence back into my room and as I lie here waiting for Ellie to return, the day my mother left me is as vivid as it was thirteen years ago.
“Just stay right here on the porch till I get back, okay?” Mama said, handing me the worn, dirty stuffed pony I’d had since I was born. “Neigh will keep you company. Don’t move off this porch, California. Do you hear me?”
While my chin quivered, I poked my bottom lip out. I had no other response.
“Do you hear me?”
A man she called “Babe” had his head in the trunk of a beat-up Mustang, rearranging all kinds of stuff to squeeze in my mama’s suitcases, her boom box, and a picture of the California coastline she had painted in high school. Our only pet, Frisco, the eleven-year-old beagle I loved with all my heart, hopped into the backseat and settled against the rear window. He had been my mother’s thirteenth birthday present from my grandparents.
“Mamaw and Papaw will be home from work in fifteen minutes, okay?”
“Where are you going?” Clutching Neigh in my arms, I stepped toward her.
“It doesn’t matter.” She hurried back inside the house. Seconds later she was running down the front steps with Frisco’s dog food. And his bowls.
“At this rate it’ll take us a month to get there,” Babe said impatiently, never once bothering to look my way.
“Who’s he?” I asked, pointing my finger right at him. My left thumb was in my mouth, fingers gripping tightly around Neigh’s tail.
“Just a friend.”
I saw him cut arrogant eyes at her. But I didn’t know why.
Mama knelt down in front of me at eye level. Put her hands on both my arms. “All you have to do is climb up in this chair.” She patted the seat of the rocker. “Sing your songs till Mamaw and Papaw get here, okay? The time willgo by like this.” She snapped her fingers. Her eyes were watery and red. I didn’t think she looked pretty.
Babe folded his arms, tapped his foot. “Any day now, Jennifer.” I didn’t like him. Or the way he was dressed. Dirty. Ugly. Mean man.
She glanced over her shoulder. “Quit your whining.” When she coughed, it lasted longer than normal.
“Are you okay, Mama?”
Pulling me into her chest, she wrapped her arms around me. With my face buried inside her hair, the smell of smoke filling my nostrils, I could hear Babe start the car engine behind us. When she let me go my eyes filled with tears.
