“Would it shock you to know I find them insightful? I have devoured novels of every genre for as long as I can recall. I love discovering the nuances that a good storyteller can layer together. Books speak of the human condition and human nature. Lord Kendrick is an anomaly to me, and I wish to understand his world because I’ll live in it.” She spoke with such earnestness; it made me like her even more.
“What had started out as curiosity is now a discovery,” I said. “I can see the logic in that. I’ve been in his world for many years. I still don’t understand him. In other ways, I can read him like an open book.” I still couldn’t grapple with his habit of jumping from lover to lover. He all but told Lillian he would take new lovers. I had thought she’d say no because of that. It didn’t seem to faze her.
Perhaps she was more like him than not.
“Do you like Lord Kendrick?” she asked, fiddling with the book's cover.
“Of course, I like him.” I moved away from the cabinet, needing to leave before saying something I might regret. “He is my employer. Would you like a glass of sherry?”
“I see the way you look at him. You need not be ashamed.” She continued to regard me with those haunting eyes. “And yes, sherry would be nice.”
My stomach dropped at the accurate assessment. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Pardon my boldness, but, um, I think you do.” She settled herself on the settee and used the ribbon she’d placed in the book the day before to open to her saved page. Slender fingers traced a path down the paper, a noticeable quiver in her hands.“I might be naïve to the ways of men, but I see the way you look at him.”
Silence hung between us. I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears, my greatest fear on display. He might pull away from me if he ever found out my true feelings.
“You are mistaken. I like and admire him. He is a good man.” The sherry was in a decanter on a sideboard. I poured her a glass. For myself, I chose scotch to help settle my nerves. I couldn’t stand losing Lord Kendrick because of my silly infatuation.
“What if I told you there was a way to act on your yearnings?” The apples of her cheeks were flushed a bright pink. The turn of the conversation clearly embarrassed her, but determination showed on her face.
Either I could ignore the line of inquiry, leave the room, or stay and hear her out. She offered me the opportunity to explore what I kept hidden from the world. “I would say you have read too many of Moran’s books.”
“It is because of Moran’s books I have come up with a way to resolve two issues. Lord Kendrick has offered to provide me with material for a titillating scene between Lord Golden and the dark knight. Since his model refuses to play Lord Golden,youcan take the role. That way, I get what I want, and you get your heart’s desire.” She said the last on a whisper, and I strained to hear her. I recognized the voice. She often lowered it when she was unsure or shy about something.
I downed my scotch, my mind racing over the suggestion. “You wish for me to play Lord Golden?”
“Yes. My reasons are selfish, and if you feel as if I am manipulating you, you would be right.” Lady Lillian’s voice gained volume. She leaned forward in her enthusiasm, taking the glass of proffered sherry from my less than steady hand.
My body screamed yes. My head screamed no. Temptation knocked on my door, and I ached to open it to the possibilities. It was madness, pure and simple. “I—”
A flash of movement from the connecting door to my office drew my eye. Lord Kendrick sauntered into the library, his hair disheveled and clothing askew from working at the kiln.
Panic hit, and I poured a second glass for myself, my fingers unsteady. If he had overheard our conversation, he showed no outward indication. “Your Grace,” I said.
“Colt. Lady Lillian.” He paused long enough to place a kiss on his fiancée’s forehead. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today. My mother stopped by and said you were shopping for dresses.”
After drinking the second shot, I placed the crystal on the sideboard. It was time for me to leave before I did something foolish, like say yes to her unwise scheme.
“No, she and my mother are shopping for flowers. I refused to go on principle. It isn’t me who wishes for an opulent wedding. I would prefer a quiet affair.” She heaved a frustrated sigh and picked up her glass. The book lay open in her lap, and she glanced down at it. Her color was still high, and there was an airy quality to her voice that was suspect. “Lord Kendrick, I was reading this passage, but I’m confused by its meaning. Can you explain?”
“I’ll leave you two.” I walked past the settee, needing some air. Shock still held me captive after what she’d proposed. Not only had she guessed my secret, but she also wanted to help me act on it. Granted, it was for her own selfish reasons. By helping her with her research, she would help me fulfill my own fantasy.
“No, stay, please. I might require your help. Just in case Lord Kendrick can’t answer my question.” Lady Lillian reached out and clasped my wrist. Compassionate green eyes locked with mine. She offered me a gift, and I was too much of a coward to accept. “Please.”
“Fine,” I said with more force than I intended. Our earlier conversation had rattled me. If an innocent like her noticed, then chances were, Kendrick had as well. He said nothing if he had. Although we were friendly, we weren’t friends. He employed me, and it was my job to keep his confidences. He had no such obligation to me.
Standing next to her, Lord Kendrick bent his head over the book. He was dressed in a shirtwaist, no collar, and a leather vest that guarded his clothing against the water he used when throwing pots.
“This is what I was doing when you saw me,” he said in a husky rasp.
“Do you think I can see it in person?” she asked in a soft murmur. “I need to flesh out my first salacious scene. I think this would be just the thing. It appears convenient since nobody needs to disrobe.”
“You could if Gavin wasn’t being so difficult. Since he is an actor, I suppose his tendency toward drama is to be expected.” He raked a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Are you certain you wish to go through with this? You are still an innocent.”
“Perhaps Colt can convince Gavin for you.” Lady Lillian caught and held my stare, the silent query challenging my resolve. She was affording me an opportunity to fulfill a longtime dream. I wanted to shout yes but kept my mouth shut. If I said yes, he could spurn me. Yet if I didn’t ...
“I might have better luck finding a more agreeable Lord Golden.” Lord Kendrick angled his chin and studied me for a long moment. His pupils showed velvety in the light, his irises retracted. An empathetic smile played across his lips as he stepped closer to me. “I have just the man in mind. However, I’m uncertain if he is willing to admit to his needs. I noticed something the other day that I hadn’t noticed before. It couldsimply be I was mistaken, and the man doesn’t share the same yearnings as me. Thus, it would be unfair to ask him to participate in something that doesn’t appeal to his baser side.”
